Thursday, October 18, 2007

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] I'm Off...

Hi folks.

I'm having a pretty lousy day on this end, and this particular lousy day started at one-thirty in the freakin' morning. I spent a couple of those wee hours just throwing myself around on my mattress until my pillows and covers were a chaotic mess upon the floor. It seems that everything hurt as a result of A) The barometer plummeting due to the storms that pummeled the Midwest working their way into my neck of the woods, and B) my infusion is tomorrow, and every inch of my wrecked, old body feels as though I tried to sleep in a spinning washing machine loaded with bowling balls.

Eventually, I gave up on that whole notion of sleep and decided to get up and watch infomercials. I saw a lot of things for various body-shredding pieces of exercise equipment that promised if I could withstand the sort of Inquisition-esque level of torture they applied, I could lose twenty pounds in a matter of weeks.

Thanks. But, I'd rather take up doing speedballs for breakfast than risk an exploding aneurysm in pursuit of a chiseled body. Besides, swimsuit season has come and gone, and this beast needs to put on some winter fluff. Hibernation appeals to me. It always has.

However, one infomercial came on, and every time I see it, I always get a little giggly.

It's for Peter Popoff's "Miracle Spring Water," and if you've never seen this joker's scam, you really should. It's beautifully hilarious, and whenever he puts his grubby mitts up to the camera and tells me to put my godless, unwashed, heathen hands on the TV screen so he and I can "pray" together, I laugh at the notion that if this madness was legit, I wonder what sort of insanity I'd be passing around the Christian community if I put my deaf cat's paws on the screen. I can almost see Popoff saying, "There's a very confused blond-haired, blue-eyed, deaf female in Milwaukee who wants to go back to licking her asshole."

Anyway, I'm uber-wonky right about now, and I think it's time for me to try and crash. How's your Thursday going so far?


Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/18/2007 10:44:00 AM


  1. I have been away so much lately and am trying to catch up on my fav blogs. Yours being one of them!
    Everyone's I have read so far this evening have been so gloomy and down. I hope you feel a bit better son my friend. You have one mate across the pond routing for yas ok?


  2. Oh I know what you mean. I think my headache was from these storms too. We had a tornado watch over night I guess & now one until 11pm. Windy is 25mph now! It is suppose to be getting bad here in about 2 hours! I see WI has some hot spots already! I hope the infusion goes well. I say moon the screen that would really send the vibes haywire! Ha! Hope you are feeling better soon!

  3. Laughing at the deafcat idea! :)

    And, do avoid the exploding aneurysms.  Those don't do well on a body, believe me.   Not that sleeping in a washing machien with bowling balls would, either.

    Hope you're painfree by the end of today.  My one hand's been hurting for weeks, but after teh initial few days, more dull ache most of the time than super pained.  I feel so blessed that that is ALL, whenever I read what you go through.