Two Words...

    In lieu of anything substantial or entertaining at the moment, I'm going to give you all an assignment.  You have to do it, or I will, umm..  well...  I'll bring back the constipated monkey!  And, trust me, you don't want me to do that, do you?

     Anyway, your assignment is to use only two words to describe your plans for this coming weekend, and leave them in the comments section.

     Right now, the two words I'm going to use to describe my weekend are: 

Spastic Drinking

   
    Have fun. 

-DP

In a Bad Mood?

    Yes.  I know.  Too many damn videos on this blog.  But, this one needs to be here. 

    Now, if anyone out there is in a bad mood like me, this should put you in a good mood, toot-sweet:


    If I ever have kids, I want them to be just like this one.  I mean, the little dude's just going batty over ripping paper. 

-DP

Why I Love The English...

    There are a lot of cool things about England, but, I think, only in England could this happen:

Woman runner-up in one-horse race

A grandmother won second prize in a cake-baking contest at a fete, only to discover she was the only entrant.

Jenny Brown, 62, entered her Victoria Sponge into the competition and was initially pleased to have come second.

But she was left shocked when a friend revealed to her that she was the only person to take part.

-DP

Some Soup.

    I am sick today...  My doctor, Dr. Fang, an anxious little man whose white lab-coat is roughly ten sizes too large for him, tells me that I have a sinus infection. 

    Of course, when a doctor says "sinus infection," it's normally a total cop-out of a diagnosis, but today, I'm inclined to agree with Fang since my teeth feel as though they're about to explode, and everything I eat, drink or sniff tastes kind of like licking dirty linoleum.  Fortunately, I have a bunch of soup, but what I don't have is Hobo Soup. 

    I believe I want some Hobo Soup.

    Unfortunately, it seems you can only purchase the stuff by the freakin' case, and I really don't know if I want a whole case of soup. 

    Anyway, has anyone ever had this stuff?  Is it good?  Does it taste like hobos? 

-DP

Ka-Boom!

    Well, it's the Fourth of July.  I hope my countrymen and women out there are having a safe and fun time.  Do try to not blow your fingers off.  I need your ability to type.  After all, without your comments, I just wander aimlessly through this meaningless life trying to develop a codependent relationship with my ficus.  So, let's keep those digits in tact, okay?

    Anyway, my plans today are ridiculously up-in-the-air.  There's some utterances of maybe going to see the Asia reunion concert at the Fest, but in all honesty, I am fest'd out.  Plus, it's the Fourth, and that place is usually packed to the bloody rafters.  So, I'll probably just catch up with some chums and go watch my town's comically lethal fireworks display like I did last year. 

    So, I hope everyone out there is having a happy Fourth of July.  And, to my non-American readers, I hope you're having a happy Wednesday. 

-DP
   

Best Beer Commercial.... Evar?

    I was skeptical at first.  Sure, I've seen gobs of beer commercials, and the general line is that, even as a Miller drinker, I can safely say that Miller commercials blow, and Bud commercials are always damn funny. 

    Fortunately, I'm not swayed by beer commercials.  And, given the choice, I'd drink the lousy Miller rather than drink the even lousier Bud products (Bite me, George Clooney!). 

    Anyway, this commercial was supposed to air; however, the chowderheads that be decided it was too risqué and subsequently yanked the entertaining thing.  Anyway, give it a gander and laugh your $#%@ing $%& off! 



    Personally, my favorite is the girl at the copier who says "poop."  She reminds me of my girlfriend/ex-girlfriend/girlfriend/ex-girlfriend/girlfriend/ex-girlfriend. 

Tonight at the Fest...

    John Mayer is playing tonight.  And, Buddy Guy is playing tonight.  I can't go see both, so if we head down there, we'll probably wind up catching Buddy Guy since he's just too packed full of awesome to miss, and John Mayer, as great as his shows can be, and as talented as he is, he's still a young pup. 

    Still, when you go see Buddy Guy, you never quite know what to expect.  A couple of years ago, Kid Rock was playing and must've wrapped up his show early enough (or was booed off the stage), and he made his way across the Fest grounds to get up and try to perform with Buddy Guy.  After that show, I don't think anyone's heard from Kid Rock since. 

     Anyway, with John Mayer in town, who knows?  It would be kind of cool to see a little of this:



    Awesome!

-DP