[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Humility: You're Doing it Wrong!

I've not been able to stop laughing at this since PZ Myers slapped it up on Pharyngula. It's from my most-favorite person I despise, Little Billy O'Reilly, and it is an absolute perfect, blisteringly-comical, display of this pseudo-journalist's bloated, porcine ego:

"Next time you meet an atheist, tell him or her that you know a bold, fresh guy, a barbarian who was raised in a working-class home and retains the lessons he learned there.

"Then mention to that atheist that this guy is now watched and listened to, on a daily basis, by millions of people all over the world and, to boot, sells millions of books.

"Then, while the non-believer is digesting all that, ask him or her if they still don't believe there's a God!"

I love it.

I really, truly do.

Bill O'Reilly is using himself as proof of a god's existence. And, he's actually serious about it. He actually believes this laundry list of accomplishments he's managed in his confused life as a fraudcaster, a novelist, and a loofah-waving sexual predator are sure proof, by-golly, that there is a God Almighty, and he's charmed with little Billy.

It's sad, I think. Bill sees the writing on the wall that he and his precious "news" channel are screaching into irrelevancy once the Bush Administration slithers out of office taking the daily talking points they fed Fox "News" with them out the door. Bill will have to think for himself, and that simply is not something he's used to doing.

Seriously. In the past, when Bill O'Reilly has been called upon to think (or even act as though he were something other than a knuckle-dragging, boot-licking toady), the only thing Bill's been able to manage is to yell a little louder and louder until he literally drowns out those people asking him to think.

Still... To Bill O'Reilly, Bill O'Reilly is proof of god. And not the man, O'Reilly, but the freakin' fraudcaster and hack autobiographer.

In other words, Bill O'Reilly's résumé is proof of god to Bill O'Reilly.

Can't... Stop... Laughing!

Good thing he left out his stint on Inside Edition.

Anyway, to catch my breath and answer this bloated loon's question, I'm going to have to say, No Bill. Your résumé doesn't prove to me that there is a god. The fact that you don't suffocate beneath the crushing weight of your own corpulent ego might be proof of god, but not quite.

So, anyway, no. I'm going to need a little more than that.


-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/01/2008 09:13:00 PM