[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Weird... No. Very Weird.

Now, I really don't understand Yoga. I've never really been able to get my mind and body behind it, and if I were to try Yoga, I'm pretty sure I'd invent a new position called "The Screaming Rusty Lawn Chair." There would be a great many creaks and groans and pops and snaps, and it would simply end in tears.

Anyway, I saw this article this morning about how some religious leaders in the United States have taken to squawking their mighty outcry over the notion that teaching Yoga in America's public schools violates the separation clause of the First Amendment.

Two high school teachers began using yoga last year to help students relieve stress before exams.

Special education teacher Martha Duchscherer and Spanish teacher Kerry Perretta also were developing a districtwide program.But those plans were halted after parents and others in the community complained students were being indoctrinated in Hindu rites.

Yes. I know. America's a Christian Nationâ„¢, and if the Christians could somehow exercise without the aid of the Very Large Feline, a large part of America's youth wouldn't be a doughy mob of bloated, obese, couch-surfing slugs.

"People have made it a religious war, and it's not a religious war. We are basically concerned parents, saying we don't want our children participating in something that could cause them more stress and confusion," [ Rev. Colin] Lucid said.

No, Mr. Lucid. You made it a religious war. You are basically a god-botherer who went out looking for something to get all up in arms over, and you found a little exercise class upon which to unleash your jealous apoplectic fear and panic over the notion that another spiritual dog and pony show was moving in on the same turf where you comfortably peddle your snake oil to the masses.

Of course, this all means one very great thing which I'm certain a whole heap of children are going to love: If they can get rid of the benign Yoga in schools, they can also eliminate the far more threatening Middle Eastern mathematical language of Algebra. Trust me. That's confusing our children far more than a little exercise class could ever do, and it could potentially turn them into bomb-toting terrorists.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/04/2008 11:19:00 AM