Umm... Don't Drink and Drive?

     I saw this blurb on the local news here, and I just had to pass it on...  You may have to read it twice. 

        TOWN OF MILTON - Two drunk drivers crashed into each other on state Highway 26 in the Town of Milton. One of them was seriously injured. Then a third drunk driver crashed into their cars. A fourth driver tried to drive through the scene... and was arrested for drunk driving. All four face charges of operating while intoxicated.

 

     I know...  Drinking and driving isn't funny, but fortunately, no innocent folks were injured.  This was just four very dumb, drunk people all collected together in the same place.  I figure the cop there must've just been scratching his head asking himself "What the....?"

Okay... Now, I Can Bash 'em.

 

Hey, Cowboy!   Your country's on the phone, and they really want to talk to you.

 

  

    Now, I'm not one to kick a man when he's down (yeah, right.  Who am I kidding?), but I am sitting here reading the CBS News report on President Bush's plummeting approval ratings.  34%?!?  And Cheney's are a microscopic 18%?!?  Are you kidding me?   And, unfortunately, the numbers simply continue to drop from there. 

     A part of me would like to believe that this administration actually cares about the opinions of its people; however, it's becoming more and more apparent that this "lame duck" of a President simply doesn't give a rat's rump about opinions or any sorts of numbers unless they have a dollar sign attached to them.   Trust me, it gives me a headache as well.

                                             

    One of the questions put forth by pundits is just why these numbers continue to drop?  And, I'm certain that the bloviating bags of wind will carp on about "media bias," and how the supposed Liberal "Communists" are taking over, and blah blah blah...  But, unfortunately, no matter how much "no-spin" nonsense you slap on it, it's not going to wash.  Jump ship, speak the truth, and admit that the lap you've been curling up on is the lap of a complete and utter moron. 

      I simply can't support a President who continues to fail at every possible opportunity.  The hornet's nest that is Iraq is collapsing into the utter chaos of civil war, and I fear more for our troops now than I did when this whole mess began.   Hurricane Katrina was a display in the hazards of "nepotism" and has left an entire administration pointing fingers and placing blame, yet nothing is done to really help.  And now?  The sale of our already-vulnerable ports to a group who aided in the greatest attack on this country's soil, and stonewalled our investigation to find those responsible, has seriously shaken any confidence anyone may have once had in this administration.   It's almost Machiavellian when you look at this administration's tactic of preaching peace and saftey in one breath while doing things to make us feel threatened, worried and UN-safe in the other.  

     So, if you ask me why this administration is failing, I'm going to have to say that it's failing because they seriously underestimated the intelligence of the American people.  We've taken too many chances in trusting them only to find ourselves disappointed, and we're now pretty damn skeptical when it comes to trusting them again. 

 

Art & Martinis?!?

Howdy,

    Hey!  It seemed like a good idea on paper, didn't it?  I mean, what could possibly go wrong with Milwaukee's new Santiago Calatrava designed art museum hosting a Clear-Channel sponsored festival where patrons pay $30 to drink as many martinis as they can possibly fit into their heads?  

     However, little did the organizers realize that Milwaukee's Martini Fest would eventually turn into the art-community's equivalent of "Ten Cent Beer Night" at Cleveland's Municipal Stadium in 1974.  Rowdy? You bet!  As one patron witnessed:

      A group of four young men climbed onto "Standing Woman," a tall, bronze sculpture of a goddess-like woman with exaggerated features by early 20th-century American artist Gaston Lachaise.

     "They were standing on it, grabbing the boobs, and somebody was just taking pictures with a cell phone," said Laura Collins, 35.     

     Now, I'm not a marketing genius by any stretch, but there are certain things which should never be turned into a promotional gimmick.  For example: "Bat Day" at Yankee Stadium when the Red Sox are in town seems like a bad idea.  Also, a zoo should never have "Pet the Lion Day."  And, a museum in Milwaukee that houses any number of priceless works of art should never expect its patrons to be well-behaved when alcohol is involved. 

     So, what went wrong?  Well, one quote from the review suggests:

     ""Hindsight is 20-20 . . . it was probably too cheap," Kerry Wolfe, a local programming director for Clear Channel, said of the event's premise - unlimited martinis for $30. "

    Now, insofar as that sort of logic probably makes "perfect" sense to this Clear-Channel person, what he or she fails to grasp is, in Milwaukee, it doesn't matter what the price is.  We see that sort of thing as a challenge.  For instance, if you make the price $30, we are not leaving until we drink at least $30 worth.   Make it $150, and you'll just wind up with people staying longer and drinking more, and when the time starts ticking closer to closing time, people will inevitably drink faster.   If you make it a thousand-bucks, you'll have people showing up with furniture and moving in, and if you kick them out, there's a pretty good chance that they, and their furniture, will show up at your house looking for an after-bar party.   You can't win. 

See ya,

DP

 

    

Yard Art.

Here's a picture of my other cat demonstrating her bizarre hunting technique of posing as a simple piece of yard-art by sitting in a concrete birdbath.  You'll notice that on her right there is a small, concrete bird.  Perhaps she's thinking that the other birds will see that bird is perfectly safe and having a wonderful time lounging poolside and want to join in on the fun. 

 

Subtle, But (Hopefully) Good Changes.

Hi again Folks,

    Now, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I've added a few small but new things to my journal.  There's a link to other journals in the little box on the right.  I recommend you check 'em out.  And, I'm sure the list will grow as time goes by.  

    Also, I've added an "Email Me" link in my favorite sites box should you have any questions or comments about me or my posts.  After all, it's all about convenience people.  

    Well, that's it for now.  Look for more in the future.  Perhaps we'll have pony rides and cake somewhere down the line.

Toodles,

DP

Sorry Ladies...

Now, seeing as how I'm single, and seeing as that I will most-likely be dating in the not-too distant future, I figured I'd take this time to apologize --in advance-- for all those things I'm sure I'll do to totally turn you off.

First, I'm sorry if I seemed bored with our conversation.  Chances are, I probably was.  I'm a guy, after all.  I'm not interested in conversation, and the last thing I want is to hear about how you've rediscovered Yanni, taken up yoga, and Feng Shui-ed the living hell out of your house in persuit of "wealth and prosperity" and some sort of New-Age Enlightenment. 

Moreover, I apologize for probably drinking too much.  The thing is, I don't like people, and I really dislike talking people.  So, in order to feign interest in your conversation, I need to drink myself silly and get plastered to the point where I am unable to walk.  Otherwise, there's a pretty good chance I'd run screaming from the room like a man with his head on fire. 

Also, if you didn't want to hear me talk about my ex-girlfriends, you shouldn't have asked.  But, thank you for bringing up so many painful memories.  Next time, save yourself the breath and just stick a fork in my eye.  Trust me, by the time you get around to asking, there's a pretty good chance I'll be drunk to the point of not feeling it.

Anyway, other than that, I am sure I will have a nice time, and I will love to go out with you again.  Call me, okay?

Sincerely,

DP

Holy Crap! I'm a Bastard!

Now, when I say I want to be a snob, I'm not talking about being a member of the Society of Nordic Barbershop Singers (then again, that could probably be fun too, but I'm not Nordic by any stretch, and I couldn't sing to save my life.  Moonwalk?  Maybe.  Singing?  No way). 

Nope.  When I say I want to be a snob, I mean I want to be the type of guy who looks down his nose at people as though they were a piece of bad cheese.  I want to say things like "Sir?  You are a boorish lout." And, "Take this vile pinot away.  It insults me." 

Yes.  I want to be a first-class, solipsitic prick.  Perhaps it's because I'm part French?  Then again, I'm also part German, and whenever I look in the mirror, I have an odd habit of throwing my hands in the air and giving up.  Maybe this morning the French part of me is winning.  That would be something, eh?

I want to go up to people I meet, give them a cold, limp, clammy little handshake and say things like "charmed" or "pleased to meet you."  I want to know how it feels to eat a friggin scone while daintily sipping my tea and pointing at the person opposite me with my pinky.  And, when I laugh, I want it to be a half-hearted sort of "ha.. ha.. haa" thing.  I want a monocle and a walking stick even though I don't need either. 

Yeppers...  I want to be a snobbish ass for no good reason. 

Sincerely,

DP

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