Saturday, April 28, 2007

Shaky English Understatement...


    England is turning into Los Angeles!

    Now, I don't mean to pick on England all the time.  I like England.  It's a beautiful country, and the people, so long as they're not in their cars, are actually pretty damn friendly. 

    The thing is, could you guys maybe get a little more crazy or freaked-out when things like an earthquake hit your country?  I mean, we get a rare, feeble tremor here in Wisconsin, and it clutters up the local news for two weeks with quotes detailing the terror and panic of fluorescent light-bulbs shaking loose and the tragedy of some poor bastard's Hummel collection tumbling from a shelf like an army of lemmings leaping off a cliff. 

    I like this guy's quote about the quake the best.

Paul Smye-Rumsby, who lives in Dover, said: "It was about 08.15 when suddenly the bed shook violently.

"I thought my wife had got cramp or something but then I saw the curtains were moving and the whole house was shaking."

    Just what kind of cramps does this guy's wife have if he's going to confuse them with a 4.3 magnitude earthquake?  He should be running out of his house in his underwear with his arms waving over his head screaming as though he awoke to find his neighborhood infested with brain-eating zombies. 

    Earthquakes are kind of rare in England, ya know?  So, you guys have no excuse for treating them as though you live in Southern California.  There should be chaos and looting.  Brandy should be served just to calm people's nerves.    



  1. He should be more worried that is why is having sex with someone else at that level of moving the earth! HA!

  2. As a Brit, I am now bored shitless about all this earthquake Malarky! Actualy, earthquakes are not as uncommon here as you Americans think, we get sunny days too, infact its been the hottest April on record, not s drop of rain!
    The guys quote was a corker though.
    Gaz ;-)

  3. LOL... dayum... I think if this guys wife needs to get checked by a gyno because my cramps wouldn't be confused for an dang quake!  LOL

    ps... I am gonna live... email me... I think you missed the alert.

    be well,

  4. Lori [helmswondermom] pointed me your way.
    Never heard of the English "stiff upperlip"? LOL
    Worse than that, if hurricane-force winds batter my neck of the woods, they say it's a trifle windy.


  5. Ahh It's great to have you back!! When I stop laughing here , I'll give you my opinion. (Hugs) Indigo

  6. I think he meant a cramp in her leg....but still...

  7. So glad to see you're writing again, Dan! The ol' place wasn't the same without your take on things.

  8. Even here in L.A. we hear some gems after the walls stop shaking.  After the last 'big one', I remember seeing a farmer being interviewed on TV.  He was telling the newsguy that some of his cows were dead.   The newsman remarked: Sir, how do you that the earthquake killed them?"  The farmer's response .... " Because they're dead."   Tina

  9. I'm with you on the brandy rations.  B.

  10. They deserve a Godzilla, too.