England is turning into Los Angeles!
Now, I don't mean to pick on England all the time. I like England. It's a beautiful country, and the people, so long as they're not in their cars, are actually pretty damn friendly.
The thing is, could you guys maybe get a little more crazy or freaked-out when things like an earthquake hit your country? I mean, we get a rare, feeble tremor here in Wisconsin, and it clutters up the local news for two weeks with quotes detailing the terror and panic of fluorescent light-bulbs shaking loose and the tragedy of some poor bastard's Hummel collection tumbling from a shelf like an army of lemmings leaping off a cliff.
I like this guy's quote about the quake the best.
Paul Smye-Rumsby, who lives in Dover, said: "It was about 08.15 when suddenly the bed shook violently."I thought my wife had got cramp or something but then I saw the curtains were moving and the whole house was shaking."
Just what kind of cramps does this guy's wife have if he's going to confuse them with a 4.3 magnitude earthquake? He should be running out of his house in his underwear with his arms waving over his head screaming as though he awoke to find his neighborhood infested with brain-eating zombies.
Earthquakes are kind of rare in England, ya know? So, you guys have no excuse for treating them as though you live in Southern California. There should be chaos and looting. Brandy should be served just to calm people's nerves.