I'm thinking this would be a little awkward, don't you?
Man spots his wife during visit to brothel ‘I was dumfounded. I thought I was dreaming,’ he tells Polish newspaper updated 35 minutes
WARSAW, Poland - A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees. (Full Story)
Umm... It's kind of hard to take sides on this one, isn't it?
Maybe it could be one of those major breaking news stories, I guess. After all, apparently the world hinges on Posh Spice's dressing habits, and as her knickers go, so goes the world, right?
Seriously, though...
When I see things like this, I just want to slap someone. This isn't news. This isn't even interesting. This is like jingling a set of shiny car keys in front of Jessica Simpson. It's a distraction.
I meant to start off the day with a post explaining to the good folks in Ohio that they should unplug their bathroom toaster ovens, drain the bathtubs, and put the razor blades down and go grab a drink.
Really. I know you love your Buckeyes, and since I am a fellow Big Ten alum, I really was hoping that THE Ohio State University could bring a little respect to a conference that has been ridiculed and unfairly judged as unworthy all freakin' year by anyone with a voice and a loose comprehension of the game of college football.
No. I don't know why, but I'm sure it's somehow all your fault. Maybe you graduated too early? I mean, you really should have taken some time off after high school (like twenty years) to see Europe or hike across Australia or find the meaning of life.
But, you didn't, did you?
Nope. You played, you graduated, you grew up (which is something most OSU graduates rarely do, man), you started a wonderful family, and you got a job talking football on ESPN. Yay for you!
You selfish, over-achieving bastard!
I mean, Brett Favre is the same age as you, and he's playing in the NFL. So, the thought of you playing with the kids, knocking them around, and actually winning the Big Game isn't all that hard to imagine.
So yes. Solely for the simple lack of anyone else to blame, I'm going to blame Kirk Herbsteit for bringing this shame upon the Big Ten by getting an education as opposed to playing football.
Now, I know students at THE Ohio State students can turn into an unruly, torch-wielding mob in a matter of seconds, so please don't march on Mr. Herbsteit's house. After all, it could just be that Jim Tressel didn't really have a good game plan going into last night's game. Or, it could be that LSU was a more talentedbetter coachedbetter team luckier team last night.
Nonetheless, look on the bright side all you kids in Columbus, OH. If nothing else, now you've got a reason to drink until September. Just, be careful. I don't want your entire student body to turn into a collection of depressed, booze-swilling cutters.
By now, you've probably heard about little Billy O'Reilly's shoving match with one of Obama's body guards. It's really not worth getting into because: A) It involves Bill O'Reilly, and B.) It involves Bill O'Reilly.
On the other hand, the utter douchebaggery displayed in this video is pretty much what one would come to expect from The Factor and Fox News in general, and, of course, it's damn funny:
I think Barack Obama's got a pretty decent reason for ignoring Fox News, and I really do wish more candidates would follow his lead. I mean, "anti-Betsy Ross?!?"
What in the bloody hell does that even mean?
Let's face it, the slow and steady decline of Fox News is a direct result of their being buried shoulder deep in the feculent back ends of the Bush Administration for the last seven freakin' years, and now, they can't embrace any candidate anywhere since every single one, aside from the crumbling Giuliani, is wise enough to realize that distancing themselves from these idiots in the White House is a really good idea.
In other words, they are nothing more than a propaganda machine that's lost its voice.
That's a nice thing...
Anyway, back to O'Reilly.
I don't understand where he gets off calling himself a journalist. He's no more of a journalist than Regis Philbin. But, for little Billy O'Reilly to call someone's actions "low class" are not only laughable, they're hysterically laughable. I mean, this is a guy who, in his response defending his actions, asserted that the man blocking his path was lucky he wasn't smaller.
In other words, little Billy O'Reilly is so "high class" that, not only can he not act like an adult in a room full of adults, he can't really pick on anyone his own size or larger in defense of his twisted definition of right and wrong, and he subsequently has to resort to petty, vapid threats to make his case.
In my world, I think we call those kinds of people "bullies."
Personally, I couldn't really care any less about O'Reilly. The guy is the proverbial turd in the punch bowl of respectable journalism. He's a talking head, and he should stay that way, safe in his gleaming tower of oblivion. For Fox to allow that moron free into the general population is simply asking for trouble as a result of stunts such as this. And, these stunts are what passes for journalism in the bloated, self-absorbed world of Bill O'Reilly and Fox News. They simply haven't the slightest hint of integrity, ethics or decency when it comes to truth, facts or legitimate reporting.
Anyway, one thing to keep in mind is that, at no time during that whole little scuffle were Bill O'Reilly's Constitutional rights in jeopardy. He was well within his rights to move elsewhere, and he should have. However, as his desperation to speak to Obama consumed him, O'Reilly found it necessary to single out the biggest man in the room and pick a fight under the notion that his shot was being blocked.
And, after much whimpering and whining at the hands of journalism's Golden Turd, Barack Obama is now forced to confront O'Reilly to either explain the actions of his staffer or apologize for them when he really shouldn't have to.
It's a pretty common stunt these days for those who claim to be journalists yet lack the slightest hint of talent and integrity. Create a situation where you can screech about how you're being persecuted, then demand that the people "persecuting" you explain their actions.
Seriously, folks. It's no different than sticking your head in the oven, and then writing a letter to the company who makes the oven demanding to know why the gas has made you dizzy when other, more intelligent people who keep their heads out of the oven don't really have such problems.
In other words, Billy: If you weren't such a bloated, self-aggrandizing, self-absorbed, ego-stroking, gas-bag, perhaps people would take you seriously, you witless hack.
Hmm... It seems this winter thunderstorm is considerably more serious than I first thought, and tornado warnings and sundry severe weather alerts and whatnots are popping up all across southeastern Wisconsin like some bizarre game of Weird-Weather-Whack-a-Mole.
Fortunately, for me, since I lead such a charmed life and all, the wicked storms have passed by only a handful of miles to the north of me and to the south of me. So, maybe all that whining actually paid off, eh?
It's actually still ridiculously warm here right now, and if it wasn't for the occasional drizzle, I'd be outside eating my dinner and enjoying the pleasant winter summer-like evening.
On the other hand, where a few of the tornadoes and super nasty storms are is in the neighborhood of the girlfriend/ex-girlfriend's house about 15 miles south of here in Racine, WI. And, it is getting smacked so badly, the sheriffs, gendarmes, gestapo and local cops are telling the eager and ambitious news' reporters to get the hell off the streets, out of the weather and go hide in people's houses. Needless to say, someone's going to get tased. Apparently, there are also gas leaks from houses getting either blown away or smashed by big, freakin' trees.
See? That's why I don't live with the girlfriend/ex-girlfriend. I'd have blow us all straight to hell by now after lighting up a smoke with my twitchy, panic-stricken hands.
Am I worried?
Well... Yeah. I am a little concerned. I can't call her house since, as a result of an amazing lack of foresight, she only has cordless phones, and those things need juice to ring. Granted, it's not going to help if the lines are down, but sometimes the power does just go out while regular landlines work. So, do yourselves a favor and go pick up an old-fashioned phone for five measly bucks. I think they even make them in fire-engine red which totally rules.
Of course, she's also got a cell-phone, but... umm... (How to put this delicately...)
The battery, for some strange reason, doesn't stay charged forever.
Now, a moment of selfishness... or, a more obvious display of selfishness...
The College Football Championship is on in a short bit, and I wanted to watch it. However, every single station is now devoted to showing the devastation of these storms and the ones still coming, and the odds of them breaking away to show a football game or any prime-time programing seems pretty slim.
Gyaagh!
Oh well... I guess I can always just stay on the internet downloading porn watching the game online somewhere.
Anyway, by the looks of it, it seems a lot of the really bad stuff has washed out over the lake, and if it was summer, I'd walk down the street to stand on the bluffs and watch the lightning blast the crap out of the lake. But, I promised myself I'd be lazy, and I'm going to put my feet up and be just that.
Oh hey! I just found further proof that the climates are all mucked up. Apparently, there was a huge snowstorm in Iran in which 21 people were killed. I mean, you'd think, given Iran's location, and given my location, our situations would be reversed, wouldn't you?
Weirdness, man... That's some pretty weird weirdness...
I don't know if I like this new climate here in Wisconsin. These winters confuse me.
For example, in the Wisconsin winters of my youth, we barely survived our walks to school in sub-zero weather and near white-out conditions. In fact, in those days, they wouldn't close the school for anything less than a foot of snow or temperatures of minus twenty degrees. And, when January rolled around in Wisconsin, you could easily expect one of those two things happening.
Now?
Well... It's 63 degrees, and we've got tornado warnings popping up in the area.
Tornadoes?!? In January!?!
What the hell has happened to my world? Last week is was zero degrees! I mean, even the cat's confused. He lept out the front door onto the porch wearing his winter coat, and when he splashed down in a small puddle, the look on his face was something like Dude? I just took a nap. How long was I out? Is this June?
So, I'm just loafing around now enjoying a little t-storm while the sky grows dark at three in the freakin' afternoon.
I could get used to this, I suppose. I mean, we had our white Christmas, and it was nice and festive with all that snow on the ground. But, Christmas is over, and as far as I'm concerned, there is absolutely no need for any more snow. And, really, it doesn't need to be cold either.
If this keeps up, my little community here hugging the Lake Michigan shoreline will look like friggin' Miami's South Beach with topless supermodels sunbathing at the end of my street, and David Carusso running through the sand in a black suit and dress shoes with a gun in his hand spewing all sorts of smarmy, tough-guy one-liners.
True. Wisconsin's cows will be confused, but apparently, with this warm weather, they will be happy cows like those in California. And, happy cheese comes from happy cows. They will no longer be the frozen, suicidally depressed bovines they are now.
Unfortunately, in about a week, I figure we'll once again lose 100% of this 63 degree temperature, and I'll wake up to ferret in the snow for the morning paper and chisel off the frozen porch. But, I can still dream...
Well, I had to ditch the Man of Pac. So much for that enlightenment thing that I was babbling on about last week sometime.
Damn!
The widget server borked out on me, and the page wouldn't load properly or wouldn't load at all (some of you brought this up to me, and I thank you for that).
Of course, now I'm going to have to find something to fill the gaping hole where PacMan once was. But, that's not going to happen today (Hello? Doctor Who marathon on TV!).
Anyway, if you've got any suggestions, feel free to offer them up. I promise to consider them, at least. Right now, however, I've got to go throw a couple of loaves of bread in the oven (originally part of my world domination plan, but now they'll just be breads). Then, it's coffee, Doctor Who, and a freaking wet cat who's too stupid to stay out of the rain, and subsequently now smells like a wet dog.
-DP
P.S. Those of you reading this on AOL don't have to worry. This post is in reference to the tinkering and whatnots going on over on the Blogger version of this blog.
I'm a pretty boring guy for a screaming-mad lunatic. And, when I am not chasing squirrels around the yard demanding that they stop speaking Swedish, I can usually be found pecking away at a keyboard trying to write a book (or two).
All-in-all, it's a pretty fun life --if not at least a little challenging.
