The Archive of a Distracted Mind

Why Are You Here?

2008-10-08T18:13:00.000-07:00

Hi. Welcome to the archive of the old AOL Journal The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind. Please, look around, admire the drapes, raid the fridge, but be aware that not much really goes on around here.

However, if you're looking for fun (and a much more active blog), please go here:

The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind on Blogger.

Enjoy, and if you're looking for something specific, leave a comment here with your email, and I'll try to find it for you.

-Dan

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Casting my bean...

2008-10-07T22:03:00.000-07:00

So, who am I voting for?

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/08/2008 12:01:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Whopsie...

2008-10-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

Oh, Sarah...

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah...

You hypocritical little minx.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/07/2008 07:52:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Fiddle, and things go bang!

2008-10-07T00:44:00.000-07:00

Testingâ¦ Testingâ¦ Testingâ¦

Donât worry. Iâm not breaking things (again!). Iâm just trying to see how difficult it is to move things from Microsoft Word into Blogger. Normally, the formatting gets all sorts of borked and wonked, and, inevitably, I wind up just giving up on the damn thing with a heavy sigh and a sharp smack of the delete button.

However, earlier today, a brick named Epiphany hit me square in the forehead, and I realized two things:

First, bricks with names hurt twice as badly as their anonymous brethren. And, second, since I use Thunderbird as an email program, I have this luxury of being able to paste without formatting, and, theoretically, I should be able to just slap this in there sans formats, then copy and paste it into the claustrophobic confines of the Blogger entry box.

So, you know, keep those fingers crossed.

Of course, thatâs kind of impossible since if it does work, that whole crossing-fingers thing will be late and really unnecessary. And, if it doesnât work, well, youâre not going to see the entry on here. But, you know, at least I'm thinking about you and your fingers, so that should count for something, right?

Anyway, itâs heading toward three in the freakinâ morning, and after a day spent writing and writing and writing, I am chugged out and near the point of drooling (oops. Just passed the drooling point. Damn flimsy water bottles!). So, perhaps after I crash, and when I am wrestling with that morning mug of sinister sludge I foolishly refer to as coffee, Iâll try to scribble a bit more of an explanation as to why I am so squeaked out to be able to move from Word to Blogger (yeah. I know thereâs a plug-in, but it doesnât work with New Blogger).

-DP

P.S. So far, things seem to be working.

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/07/2008 01:31:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Test

2008-10-06T22:50:00.000-07:00

Well nowâ¦ Consider this a test.

No. Thereâs nothing important here. Iâm just fiddlingâ¦ always fiddling.

Eventually, I have a feeling that things are going to explode in my face and make a big, huge mess.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/07/2008 12:46:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Ouch!

2008-10-06T11:01:00.000-07:00

With most of the world's economies plummeting toward some sort of financial armageddon, I figured today's picture should represent what the victims of this crisis will inevitably be feeling crammed into one orifice or another. If you're an American reading this, I think it would be best to shut your eyes very tightly, get a pencil or some other bite stick to put in your mouth, bend over, and try, try, try to go to your Happy Placeâ¢.

Other than that, my Monday is actually not half bad. The Humira seems to have worked, and whatever lingering aches and pains I am feeling can be handled with a simple dose of Advil and a heating pad wrapped around my ankle.

Unfortunately, I am currently engaged in a little battle between my feet and Acacia as she really, really wants to sleep on the heating pad. I've conceded a small corner which is currently baking the top of her head as she has worked herself into a little, fluffy ball and twisted her neck to near snapping to get to this really hot spot. Of course, I know that the second I move, I will lose my heating pad as she will sprawl out and let herself fry to the point of filling the house with the scent of burning fur.

Ah well... Enjoy the cactus.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/06/2008 12:13:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Only in America...

2008-10-05T22:45:00.000-07:00

Egads!

Only in America could someone so blisteringly rock-stupid be seen as qualified to assume the office of the Vice President (and, potentially President).

This video is 30 seconds of Sarah Palin chirping out her typical gibberish during the debates --a debate in which, rather than stay on topic, follow the format, or even answer with a single salient fact, she rambled off into the hills and hollers where people want their leaders to be just like them (i.e. dumb as a stump).

I swear, if I see a TV show called Ow! My Balls! I'm putting a gun in my mouth, and I'll eat a bullet (and for those of you who haven't seen the movie Idiocracy, I'm sorry, but that joke probably sailed right past you).

The potatohead vote got Bush elected twice, and America has done nothing but suffer since. Yet, here we are again. McCain, who doesn't even seem to be all there these days anyway, brought this yokel on board to court those who, for some reason, seem to think that the dumber a person is, the more he or she should be president.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/06/2008 12:04:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] At the close of an enjoyable, lazy day...

2008-10-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

First, the picture...

It should be noted that, inside the house, Acacia (DeafCat) and Harding (DogCat) are pretty tolerant of one another. Actually, Harding is the tolerant one, and Acacia is the one who likes to set boundaries and torment Harding. If he comes in the basement to join me in my man cave and sit on my lap to get his fat head scratched, she will take a position at the top of the stairs, and once the scratchfest is finished, Harding will not go up the stairs unless I am there to chaperone him.

Still, they're pretty good together, and they'll both hangout in the neutral zone of the kitchen floor together when one of them is hungry. Sometimes, inside the house, they even play. Of course, with Harding being the size that he is (very big), and Acacia being the size that she is (very small), those little playful brawls usually end with her being swatted and sent tumbling across the floor.

Now, that being said, when they get outside, Acacia goes into full-blown bitch mode, and she treats Harding as though she doesn't even know him. She will hiss and growl and make any number of feeble kitty protests at this black and white blob of fur wandering around HER GODDAMN YARD! And, of course, Harding is just flat-out confused.

So, what you see here is, by all definitions, a stand off. And, of course, it's funny as hell.

In the confrontation you see here, for me to settle it, I had to actually go and pick up the furry lummox, Harding, and carry him past Acacia to the back door. Once there, they both trotted into the house, had a little bite, and then started chasing one another up and down the stairs in a mad moment of kitty fun.

Yeah. It's weird, but I gave up trying to figure out the lives of cats a long, long time ago.

Aside from that, I've decided to stop with the DogCat/DeafCat stuff. I think I've gotten bored with it, but it may spring up from time to time. The thing is, I didn't name either of these cats (and I sure as hell would never name anything "Acacia"), but in some weird way, those names do actually fit. Acacia fits about as well as anything named Acacia could, I suppose. But, the name Harding?

That fits him perfectly. Seriously, when I hear that name, I just think of a sort of lumbering oaf who just seems to move about as slow as possible, and let's face it, if my cat Harding had a soundtrack, it would include a lot of slow and lilting tuba solos.

And now for the public service announcement part of today's entry:

In the comments on this entry I made last Thursday, Dawn asks:

Can you try plaquenil like I did? It really helped some...

Now, normally, I'd answer in an email, but considering the gravitas of the answer, and the fact that I know I'm not the only one in the world suffering with the disease I've got, I figure it's best to just slap this tidbit of information up here in the hopes that it may actually save someone a hell of a lot of trouble.

The quick answer, Dawn, is no. I can't try Plaquenil.

And now, the why:

Plaquenil does very, very, very bad things to people with psoriasis. There have been many cases where Plaquenil has caused a flare-up in psoriasis so violent and extensive that the patient had to be placed in a medically induced coma for a good, long while in order to get a handle on it and keep the patient's heart from giving out as a result of that insane level of inflammation.

Seriously. Anything with even the slightest hint of quinine can make things flare up. For example, if I drink a gin and tonic or two, the next day I can expect things to be kind of uncomfortable as I wind up with some burning, itching spots here and there. And, that's from just a smidge of tonic water since, let's face it, when it comes to gin, I am a big fan of the long pour. I can't imagine the shape I'd be in if I chugged a bottle of tonic water.

The scary thing is that some folks, like me, develop arthritis before they wind up with the miserable skin lesions. And, most of the time, that arthritis is misdiagnosed as rheumatoid arthritis. One of the favored treatments of RA is.... anyone?

Yep. Plaquenil.

So, for all you psoriasis sufferers out there, do yourselves a favor and keep a note just in case some out-of-touchdoctor tries to prescribe Plaquenil to you. I've had several try, but most are reasonably current. Still, you should be careful.

Anyway, other than that, I hope all your weekends rocked. Did anyone do anything fun?

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/05/2008 10:11:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Ooo... Bathtubby.

2008-10-04T23:08:00.000-07:00

Now, I've done tilt-shift photography, and it can be really cool and fun and trippy. The thing is, I've seen hundreds and hundreds of tilt-shifted photographs, but I've never seen a tilt-shifted video. At least, not until now:

Bathtub II from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

Man... That's just some wild, brain-bending stuff, huh?

-DP

P.S. For those of you reading this on AOL, if the video isn't showing up on my Journal there, please stop by my Blogger blog (http://thewisdomofadistractedmind.blogspot.com) to check it out.

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/05/2008 12:58:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] In the Hole!

2008-10-04T13:55:00.000-07:00

I love Jon Stewart. I'd have his baby if that sort of thing were possible. However, since it's not, maybe I'd just wash his car or do the dishes or even clean the hair out of his shower drain. After all, when someone makes you laugh, you tend to overlook those things....

Anyway, here's the Daily Show's explanation of the Bailout Bill (I love the McCain bit).

He's right, you know? It's fucking embarrassing that this $700 billion bailout package that was supposedly vital to keep our entire civilization from collapsing couldn't be passed until they added another $150 billion for shit like this:

Senators attached a provision repealing a 39-cent excise tax on wooden arrows designed for children to an historic $700 billion financial-markets rescue that passed tonight by a vote of 74-25. The provision, originally proposed by Oregon senators Ron Wyden [D] and Gordon Smith [R], will save manufacturers such as Rose City Archery in Myrtle Point, Oregon, about $200,000 a year.

It's one of dozens of tax breaks benefiting Hollywood producers, stock-car racetrack owners and Virgin Islands rum-makers included in the broader legislation in an effort to win support from House Republicans, whose defection contributed to a rejection of an earlier version of the legislation two days ago on a 228-205 vote.

I'm sure this makes sense to someone. Not me. But, I'm sure there are people --let's say firemen-- who when told of people trapped in a burning building --let's say an elementary school-- tell those who are alarmed that, in order for them to rush out and extinguish the fire, they're going to need some nachos first.

Are you embarrassed yet, America?

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/04/2008 03:39:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Motivation.

2008-10-04T11:59:00.000-07:00

I found this picture on a discussion thread over at Fark, and I just had to make a motivational poster out of it.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/04/2008 01:51:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Eeeek!

2008-10-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah...

It's October, and I'm going to scare you all freakin' month.

Are you scared?

Huh?

You should be. I mean, for all you know, there's a big, hairy spider, just like this one, crawling up the back of your chair. Or, maybe he's hanging out in your shoes?

One thing that I think it pretty awesome about this spider picture is that, if you look at the center of the spider's head, you can see what looks like The Joker from the old Batman series (or, maybe it's Mr. Heat Miser). You might need to click on the picture and head over to the large or original sizes to check it out. But, that might scare you too much... Yes. I vant to scare you! Ah-ha-ha-haaaa!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/04/2008 12:14:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Weird... No. Very Weird.

2008-10-04T09:56:00.000-07:00

Now, I really don't understand Yoga. I've never really been able to get my mind and body behind it, and if I were to try Yoga, I'm pretty sure I'd invent a new position called "The Screaming Rusty Lawn Chair." There would be a great many creaks and groans and pops and snaps, and it would simply end in tears.

Anyway, I saw this article this morning about how some religious leaders in the United States have taken to squawking their mighty outcry over the notion that teaching Yoga in America's public schools violates the separation clause of the First Amendment.

Two high school teachers began using yoga last year to help students relieve stress before exams.

Special education teacher Martha Duchscherer and Spanish teacher Kerry Perretta also were developing a districtwide program.But those plans were halted after parents and others in the community complained students were being indoctrinated in Hindu rites.

Yes. I know. America's a Christian Nationâ¢, and if the Christians could somehow exercise without the aid of the Very Large Feline, a large part of America's youth wouldn't be a doughy mob of bloated, obese, couch-surfing slugs.

"People have made it a religious war, and it's not a religious war. We are basically concerned parents, saying we don't want our children participating in something that could cause them more stress and confusion," [ Rev. Colin] Lucid said.

No, Mr. Lucid. You made it a religious war. You are basically a god-botherer who went out looking for something to get all up in arms over, and you found a little exercise class upon which to unleash your jealous apoplectic fear and panic over the notion that another spiritual dog and pony show was moving in on the same turf where you comfortably peddle your snake oil to the masses.

Of course, this all means one very great thing which I'm certain a whole heap of children are going to love: If they can get rid of the benign Yoga in schools, they can also eliminate the far more threatening Middle Eastern mathematical language of Algebra. Trust me. That's confusing our children far more than a little exercise class could ever do, and it could potentially turn them into bomb-toting terrorists.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/04/2008 11:19:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Another AOL Update...

2008-10-03T17:26:00.000-07:00

Hey folks. Someone names Marie popped in to provide what could potentially be an easier way to download and save your journals. Here's what she says:

Marah Marie, at Anti-AOL said ... (October 3, 2008 6:26 PM) :
Just to let you know, I have an entire series of posts about this situation which I'll add to soon to include what you've written. That's here:

http://anti-aol.livejournal.com/tag/how+to+back+up+aol+journals

Your readers may want to know that my latest post shows AOL users how to use the free BackStreet Browser to download and backup their content from AOL before their sites are shut down.

BackStreet Browser is a free website downloader with a built-in browser for viewing downloaded files and stores your files however you want them stored, in whatever folder and directory structure you need, right there on your own computer. It's flexible, fast, easy to use, and once again, free, saving AOL users from having to download one page at a time with a tradional web browser, or using FTP to grab files, which can be time-consuming and perhaps more difficult. My post about that is here:

http://anti-aol.livejournal.com/98191.html

Joe Manna also has a downloading method for those AOL users who feel comfortable working from a free command line utility called WGet. His post about that is here:

http://www.joemanna.com/blog/aol-users-how-to-backup-aol-journals-to-your-computer/

Any word on how soon the Blogger "app" will be ready? How does AOL plan to let everyone know when it is...or will an announcement be made through Blogger?

If you are interested in backing up your journals, I certainly recommend spinning over to the link Marie provided to give this thing a whirl. From what I gather, the BackStreet browser is wicked fast; however, it may be a little tricky to operate. But, I think Marie provides some excellent instructions on how to use it.

Other than that, I haven't the foggiest idea as to when the application will be rolled out for AOL'ers to use to port their journals over to Blogger. Hopefully soon, though.

Anyway, I'll try to write more later. Right now, it's Friday night. And, it's not that I don't care, but... It's Friday night. Really. You shouldn't even be reading this. Put on your special dress and go dancing!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/03/2008 07:10:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Opinions.... Yours!

2008-10-03T15:35:00.000-07:00

Hi folks.

Now, I kind of like the look and feel of this page, and obviously, that could very well slow down my quest for the new and perfect template. But, you know, that's not important.

What is important is you. You guys are the ones who come to read my mad ramblings, and I would like to make the whole experience as comfortable as possible for you. So, this is the part where I ask you, my readers, what you think of the page.

So, what do you think?

Are there any problems?

One issue that I'm desperately trying to fix is that the title of each post is supposed to be a permanent link, but no matter what I do, it doesn't work. So, that's going to speed up my search for a new template since the damn thing is driving me nuts.

Other than that, though, please share your thoughts. I'm curious, you know?

So, spit it out!

-Dan

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/03/2008 05:26:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] A Friday in October.

2008-10-03T12:35:00.000-07:00

Well...

It's October.

And, it's Friday.

In some circles, that, I suppose, can be a good thing. In my circles, it's a pain in the ass.

Still, there is a certain undeniable prettiness that springs up in October as apple-cider smells and fireplace smoke drift upon the chilled breezes with the cold snap of a coming winter. For me, my ideal fall is to sit on a comfy couch and stare out at a wavy lake that's on its way to turning solid.

Maybe it's just a desire to ignore the world, and fall and winter give me the perfect excuse to do just that. I guess bad weather is a misanthrope's dream.

Anyway, other than wax pastoral on an October Friday, I've been doing what I can to get those vulnerable things into the heated house. The plants I moved outside to enjoy the summer sun are now showing signs of panic as little warning signs pop up to tell me about an impending frost. And the poor and mighty yucca is just too far from home to handle this Wisconsin weather.

Unfortunately, they're big plants, and lugging them up the stairs and through the house is so hard on the hands and knees that it'll probably take me all afternoon to turn these things from outside plants into houseplants.

Ah well... Enjoy the picture of a pole. It means nothing. However, it's an interesting pole. I've driven my car into it hundreds of times as I use it as a guide when parking my car off the street when the snow laws go into effect. That pole and I are pals, I guess.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/03/2008 11:37:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Three Thousand...

2008-10-03T00:49:00.000-07:00

I think this video sums up just how screwed Americans are and will be for quite some time.

There's an interesting bit in there when John McCain is mumbling on about the perks of deregulation. The maker of this video points out that McCain's deregulation is akin to the fact that a person who doesn't pay house insurance is better off financially until their house burns down.

That's a good analogy. McCain wants less regulation (it seems. He's waffled on that topic at least half a dozen time this week alone). However, where we are now is the result of this deregulation, and the fact that every American is going to be three-thousand dollars poorer, should make you stop and think (at least, I hope it does).

Personally, I truly dislike McCain on pretty much every single facet of his bizarre and twisted platform. And, to be honest, I simply don't have time to untangle that insane mess of whether he is for something or against something --in fact, early Thursday, he mentioned that Bush should veto the bailout bill that he himself voted for the previous day.

Yeah. He was so against it that he voted for it.

The fact that this sort of thing makes sense in the head of John McCain is frightening.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/03/2008 02:27:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Not Bad...

2008-10-02T22:58:00.000-07:00

Let's see here. I just finished up watching the debates, and I'm plopping down with a big mug of licorice tea to drool at the television for the next couple of hours or so.

First, the tea: It's licorice, and I like it. It's one of those things that I bought on a whim some time ago, and when it made it then and took a sip, my first reaction was to wonder just what the hell it was I was dumping into my head. After that, however, some sort of odd addiciton seems to have kicked in, and now I find myself craving it late at night like a tweaker in search of a fix.

The thing is, it doesn't have that terribly cloying, acrid flavor that licorice usually has. In this drink, it's subtle and mixed with cinnamon (I think) and other things, and it's actually really good.

Now, the debates: I'll admit, Sarah Palin did better than I thought she would. Of course, that's not saying much since I thought she would have a meltdown and throw her shoe at Joe Biden's head. But, considering her target, she hit all the codewords, and, still considering the target to whom she was speaking, she gave absolutely no facts or details and just made the ears on the horde of Conservatives eager to see her sit in the second biggest chair perk up with each vapid platitude she rattled out with a wink and a smile. I'd imagine there was a lot of lapping on the right as there was a bucket of bullshit to lap up.

The voters she's after are those Bushies who have learned to replace relevant information with slack-jawed, empty soundbytes designed, not to educate, but to inspire. There's a danger in that, however. After all, Bush rallied a nation to war with nothing but catch phrases, and though a great many hearts may have been behind it, the head was ignored, and we wound up with the greatest foreign policy blunder in American history. And we still are paying for it. And, we will continue to pay for it long after we are dead and gone.

To think McCain would be any different, or set us on a right path, is not only foolish, it's terrifyingly dangerous. He calls himself a maverick; however, as Joe Biden pointed out, McCain has towed the party line time and time and time again, voting with President Bush ninety percent of the time.

Not exactly the hallmark of a trailblazer, don't you think?

Now, do I think Palin won the debate? No. There was no substance to a single thing she said. Biden had the facts, he had the numbers, he had the truth on his side.

However, Palin accomplished her task. She most likely didn't lose Conservative voters as a result of her saying what amounted to absolutely nothing.

With drool and television: Right now, I'm watching some sort of House rerun on USA. I've got a blow-out ankle that's been screeching at me all day (actually, it's been off and on for the last several months). The funny thing is, I didn't do a damn thing to it, and that's just crazy frustrating. Really. I'd be happy if I twisted it and it hurt. Hell, even if I accidentally sawed it off somehow while building that rocket ship I think I'm going to be needing in a few years, I'd be all like "Well, hell yes it hurts! I sawed the damn thing off. It's supposed to hurt."

Of course, since I didn't do anything to it, I'm confused. And annoyed.

Mostly annoyed.

Oh hey! House ended, and I changed the channel, and I managed to find the Robot Chicken: Star Wars special thingy.

I'm going to say, Robot Chicken probably the best fifteen minutes on television, and if I was ever to work in the entertainment world, I would be falling all over myself to get a gig working on that show in some way or another. It's freakin' hilarious.

Let's see... The show's over now, and life has lost a little meaning.

Bonus Pain & Whining: Unfortunately, the ankle isn't the only thing hurting on me. It's just a big ass mess of aches that seem to have settled into random joints, and it's beginning to really get to me. Last year, I was getting my Remicade infusions, and those things were a fucking miracle. It was astounding the effect they had on everything from my mobility to my quality of life and even my mood and my attitude.

Sure. Things still hurt, but it wasn't bad. Instead of aches that lead me to constantly alter the way I do things, my joints and bones just had a sort of dull ache that didn't get in the way of anything. And, right now, I'd poke a nun in the eye to get back to that magical place where things still hurt, but they didn't hurt bad enough to put my life on hold.

Back then, a couple of Advil, and I was good to go. Today? Ha! It's a fistfull of Vicodin just to be able to get out of bed.

I knew when I replaced those infusions with weekly injections of Humira things would not be as pleasant. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that they would get this bad. Since I started taking this stuff back in February, things have only gotten worse. Sure, the icky, psoriatic skin is gone for all intents and purposes, with only a few ugly spots here and there. But, the arthritis has just been slowly getting worse.

I wish I could go back to the Remicade. Unfortunately, America's health care system is so blown to shit by rampant corruption and greed, those medications could very well never have been invented for all I care.

John McCain would be the complete wrong direction with his desire to create a deregulated system of health care to encourage and reward the rampant greed and corruption and inhuman treatment of America's sick and suffering by the pharmaceutical and insurance companies.

Consider the following situation if you're looking for an example: In order to get the medications I need, I have to have some pretty damn good insurance. However, in order to afford that pretty damn good insurance, I'd need a damn good job. However, in order to get that damn good job, I need those medications.

Now, I can't be the only one in America who sees that as sorta fucked up.

And yes. I still stand by my assertion that going to college was the greatest mistake I, or anyone, could make. I'd fallen off my parents' insurance (which happens to pretty much each and every college student, unless you're Doogie Howser).

At the time, it wasn't a big deal. The school had a clinic or some sort of student health center designed to treat simple things that college kids usually come down with, and it was free. So long as you needed nothing more than an ice pack or a shot to clear up that case of the clap you got from some Friday night frat bash, you were good to go. Anything more, and they refer you to a very expensive hospital.

So, obviously, my plan, like most normal folks, was to simply finish school, get a decent job and have a happy, normal life.

That didn't happen. That will never happen.

Eventually, I left school to fight this disease, and since the only doctors I could see were a hundred miles away, I moved back to Milwaukee, and for more than a decade, I've been stuck in this disaster with no way out.

So really. When some cock-sucking, spoiled, neo-con, sycophant politician tells me that I should vote for him because he wants to deregulate an already overly corrupt and murderous privatized system because he's in the pocket of one lobbyist and/or another, I find myself with the urge to laugh.... and the urge slash that son of a bitch with a million papercuts before dousing him in gas and setting him on fire.

Seriously. McCain received better health care as a POW in Hanoi than a great many Americans receive today. It's amazing, really. I simply can't understand how people can vote for a spineless, boot-licking coward who's entire presidency will have been bought by those with special interests and a desire to have a direct line to the most influential person in America for their own personal gain. We have one of those corrupt fools now, and how's that working out, again?

Anyway, this is just me venting and rambling and whining. But, this is the reason why I am permanently angry. You don't see a lot of that anger because I compartmentalize it fairly well. But, it's there, looming beneath the surface.

Unfortunately, things do spring up to spark that pent up rage. For example, right now, I'm trying to get into my AOL Journal to go through some entries to see if I want to save them, but AOL is denying me access. Soooo.... I'm a little pissed.

Anyway, I apologize for the pile of babble. I'm hoping you didn't read it all.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/02/2008 10:22:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Random Things.

2008-10-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

It was forty-some-odd degrees when I woke up this morning (my god! Did I just say 'forty-some-odd." Next, I'll be bouncing around in the dirt on a John Deere).

Forty degrees is officially cold, and it's roughly the temperature where my mad survival instincts kick in. They do that you know.

I've been trained. I have a knife. And, most importantly, my neighbor has food, a fireplace, and a freakin' hot wife.

What?

These are Viking survival skills, people. I'm not some freakin' Les Stroud type where you could drop me in the woods and I'll make a condo out of boulders and bear shit. I take what's yours and make it mine. Like what they did with England --by the way, only someone from Scandinavia would conquer England for the freakin' weather. I can almost imagine how that conversation went:

Olaf: Fuck! It's snowing again!
Mrs. Olaf: Of course, you idiot. This is Norway.
Olaf: Where is it not snowing?
Mrs. Olaf: SoHo.
Olaf: Right. Off we go then.

Now, speaking of Sarah Palin...

Oh. Wait. I deleted that bit from above. Umm... Just replace Olaf with Sarah Palin, and Mrs. Olaf can be John McCain, and SoHo can be... well... Baltimore.

Anyway, speaking of Sarah Palin, the debates are on, and they are on like Donkey Kong (really always wanted or say that). That is, of course, unless Palin's programmers, in a fit of utter hopelessness smash their heads into the walls at the frustration of trying to get someone who, while Governor of Alaska, signed off on a Supreme Court decision not Roe v. Wade (that whole Exxon damages thing back in June) to name a Supreme Court decision other than Roe v. Wade (hint: Exxon v. Baker).

Or, maybe they already opened their veins and arteries and bled themselves like mutton after trying to get Sarah Palin, a journalist, to name a printed news source she's read.

Couric: And when it comes to establishing your worldview, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?

Palin: I've read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

Couric: What, specifically?

Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

Couric: Can you name a few?

Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too. Alaska isn't a foreign country, where it's kind of suggested, "Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?" Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.

Really, Sarah. I think you could have said you get your news from a copy of The Watchtower that someone left on your doorstep, and Katie would have been happy. But noooo... You rattled off into some sort of "everyone thumbs their noses at Alaska and blah blah blah..." pity party.

Listen lady! I've seen Deadliest Catch. I know what goes on in Alaska. You all catch crabs.

That came out wrong. I should have gone with the Jack London reference. But then I'd just wind up thinking that all Alaskans do nothing but claw the earth scrabbling for gold and freeze to death while waiting for their dogs to build a fire for them.

Nonetheless, the funny thing about the debate is that Joe Biden probably can't win. If he comes off as being nice to Palin, he's going to look patronizing, and that's going to play to Palin's perky, smiling, anti-intellectual Pikachu.

If Biden is short and tough with her, well... He might as well just stand there in a grease-stained wife beater shirt and flick lit Marlboros at her. And, let's face it, if you saw someone tossing lit cigarettes at Pikachu, what the fuck would you think?

Other than that, I think Biden's only option is to just stand there and let Palin hang herself. First, ask her an off-the-wall question. Ask her about what happened when the last volcano erupted in her state, and ask her what she did as governor to help those affected. Get her to name the volcano and the towns involved. If you can get Palin talking about specifics, she's liable to get frustrated and flustered because she is such an incurious woman, she doesn't know specific things.

Besides, Pikachu on a noose?

That's funny stuff, right there.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/02/2008 11:11:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] It's Thursday.

2008-10-01T23:06:00.000-07:00

And here's your picture, all packed, peanuted, poked and polished for your enjoyment. And, yes. I mean you. Not any of this blog's other readers -we don't like them, do we? I'm talking about you. I like you. You're special. Can I buy you a drink?

This picture of a Yucca enchanted me and spun my mind. It's kind of rare when that sort of whacky thing happens, and, try as I may, I just never really know what to do about that.

So, it's at that time that I turn to the two time-tested standby's in artistic interpretation: 'shrooms and blotter acid.

The acid makes the leaves move. Unfortunately, and this is the short road to a bad trip, the 'shrooms make it feel as though I'm putting my face into a fan where it will be ground up into marshmallows and devoured by unicorns to be crapped out at the next Burning Man.

So, do yourselves a favor. Don't drop acid and eat mushrooms if you're going to be staring at this image of a houseplant for any length of time. It will freak you out!

Now, in the interest of full-disclosure, I don't do acid or mushrooms. I simply don't have the brain cells to spare for that sort of adventure, people. However, if I did, I'd imagine my response would be pretty much the same. I'm not sure though. I'll leave that to one of the myriad of Hunter S. Thompson wannabes out there. Me? I'm perfectly fine just sitting here imagining what my brain would be like if it was altered enough.

-DP

P.S. What? I can't be serious all the time.

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/02/2008 12:40:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Humility: You're Doing it Wrong!

2008-10-01T19:42:00.000-07:00

I've not been able to stop laughing at this since PZ Myers slapped it up on Pharyngula. It's from my most-favorite person I despise, Little Billy O'Reilly, and it is an absolute perfect, blisteringly-comical, display of this pseudo-journalist's bloated, porcine ego:

"Next time you meet an atheist, tell him or her that you know a bold, fresh guy, a barbarian who was raised in a working-class home and retains the lessons he learned there.

"Then mention to that atheist that this guy is now watched and listened to, on a daily basis, by millions of people all over the world and, to boot, sells millions of books.

"Then, while the non-believer is digesting all that, ask him or her if they still don't believe there's a God!"

I love it.

I really, truly do.

Bill O'Reilly is using himself as proof of a god's existence. And, he's actually serious about it. He actually believes this laundry list of accomplishments he's managed in his confused life as a fraudcaster, a novelist, and a loofah-waving sexual predator are sure proof, by-golly, that there is a God Almighty, and he's charmed with little Billy.

It's sad, I think. Bill sees the writing on the wall that he and his precious "news" channel are screaching into irrelevancy once the Bush Administration slithers out of office taking the daily talking points they fed Fox "News" with them out the door. Bill will have to think for himself, and that simply is not something he's used to doing.

Seriously. In the past, when Bill O'Reilly has been called upon to think (or even act as though he were something other than a knuckle-dragging, boot-licking toady), the only thing Bill's been able to manage is to yell a little louder and louder until he literally drowns out those people asking him to think.

Still... To Bill O'Reilly, Bill O'Reilly is proof of god. And not the man, O'Reilly, but the freakin' fraudcaster and hack autobiographer.

In other words, Bill O'Reilly's rÃ©sumÃ© is proof of god to Bill O'Reilly.

Can't... Stop... Laughing!

Good thing he left out his stint on Inside Edition.

Anyway, to catch my breath and answer this bloated loon's question, I'm going to have to say, No Bill. Your rÃ©sumÃ© doesn't prove to me that there is a god. The fact that you don't suffocate beneath the crushing weight of your own corpulent ego might be proof of god, but not quite.

So, anyway, no. I'm going to need a little more than that.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/01/2008 09:13:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Testing...

2008-10-01T16:28:00.000-07:00

Move along... Nothing to see here.

I'm hoping this works. I would like to be able to finally (yes, finally) be able to create "jumps" or whatever the hell you call them.

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/01/2008 06:26:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Keepin' an eye on things...

2008-10-01T14:22:00.000-07:00

So, how's the new look?

Hahaha...

This is just a temporary thing, but I thought the layout looked kind of cool with DeafCat over there on the edge looking concerned. In other words, there is no horseplay allowed. So, all you horses? Yeah. She's looking at you.

Now, personal reminder: I need to create a new banner (hence the acronym up there that looks supremely tacky). The old one started to stink like... well... You know that hunk of cheese in your fridge that got shoved to the back a while ago and has now taken on a very threatening disposition due to months of neglect?

Yeah. It stunk like that. But, unlike the cheese, it doesn't pull a gun on me whenever I open the fridge to get some juice.

So, I'll work on one of those...

I also need to make a better background image thing.

After that, well... who knows. I'm going to just play around for a while.

Anyway, I just wanted to make that note here. I'm going to have some coffee and go shopping for a new template in a bit.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/01/2008 04:10:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] The Rundown...

2008-10-01T13:35:00.000-07:00

So, how am I feeling today?

I can't say that it's good, but I can say that I am desperately trying not to let it get to me. I figure that's probably the best I can do in such situations. It's what I do in every situation, every day, and very little changes.

Now, I don't mean to be all doom and gloom all the time, but this place really is an outlet for my thoughts, and when those thoughts are generally crippled by a distracting, endless ache somewhere, it's inevitable that my thoughts will be focused on that. As humans, I think we're wired to address those things when they spring up. We've evolved to say "holy fuck! That hurts! I'd better do something about it before it gets worse."

And, that's where I am. It never ends. Something, somewhere, is screaming "Pay attention to me!"

It's such a weird, weird thing.

Right now, my feet are screaming, some fingers are screaming, and my knees ache and make this bizarre, stomach-twisting noise when I try to operate the stairs. It's a wet, crunchy, squishy sound, and if I were to write it into a book, I would say it sounds like celery twisting inside a wrapper of bloody, wet meat.

It's gross. So, I'm trying to avoid the stairs. Stairs are bad...

Other than that, there's been some questions about that whole "Follower" thing on this blog, and I am trying to figure out a new look and layout for this place, but it's not easy since I'm really fussy, and I'd like to keep something with this width for my photos and whatnots.

I'm trying to get that working, but this is an old template, and it doesn't allow that Follower feature. But! You can add the feed manually to the list of blogs on your Blogger dashboard. Simply click "ADD" and copy and paste the following feed URL into the URL box:

http://thewisdomofadistractedmind.blogspot.com/atom.xml

If you use a reader, you can use that feed as well.

Wicked cool, huh?

So, please do that until I can find and set-up a new template to include the Follow module. I'm hoping to build one soon, make the transfer, and hopefully not lose too many things on this page while I add a few more.

For those of you making the switch over to the Blogger community from AOL, there are a ton of places out there to find helpful tips and pointers. For example, the one I'm currently using is the Tips for New Bloggers blog just because it was there. However, there are many, many more out there (I'd say about a thousand different sites). Plus, Blogger Help has a really deep search based interface. Just go and type whatever you need. For example, I just went in and typed "Template," and I got a boatload of possible answers with regards to where I can find new templates and how to tweak and set up and customize those templates.

Now, the layout feature for setting up your blogs kicks some pretty serious ass in my opinion. The interface is kind of similar to your old AIM pages interface --only nowhere near as clunky and slow. You can do all sorts of basic things and plug in all sorts of widgets and modules. However, if you would like to go beyond that, you can dive into your blog's HTML source and manually change whatever the heck you please (just make sure you save a copy of that template before you make any changes --I tend to copy and paste it into an email).

The things I seem to be changing most are the borders. Blogger puts them around the header image, and going into the template and changing the borders to 0 in the right spots get rid of that.

You can also add a static background image pretty easily (although I am having some hard times sussing out the sizing and stuff, but that's mostly the result of me being stupid).

Oh yeah. One thing about Blogger that blows AOL Journals out of the water is that you can upload pictures directly from your computer into your blog entries. Just pick the size and alignment, then once the image is uploaded, if you want to move it around your entry, simply copy and paste it where ever.

The AOL feature just wasn't nearly as intuitive.

So, you guys moving over are in for a pleasant surprise, I think. You can make your blogging experience as easy as your AOL journals (or easier). Or, you can dive into it and customize the hell out of your little chunk of the interwebbies.

Aside from that, I am curious how the moves will be handled. I don't know what the layouts will look like. I have a feeling your journal's entries and comments will be ported over, but extraneous things such as your sidebar links, favorite places, About Me, etc will most likely be lost.

All things considered, that's actually not such a bad thing, and I really am impressed that AOL has even offered to do this for everyone. That says so much about the people at AOL that they would care enough to go to these lengths to help preserve your content. Sadly, as nice as Blogger is, I don't think you'll find that sort of consideration here. Then again, I don't think you'll find it anywhere these days. So, it's kind of sad to see that sort of customer service die with the passing of AOL Journals.

Anyway, I'll try to write more in the future as I think of things. There's really not much to this Blogger thing, but if you do have any questions, please feel free to ask, and I'll try to find an answer for you.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 10/01/2008 01:51:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Modernize...

2008-09-30T21:15:00.000-07:00

Now, for the longest time I've loved the look of this blog. The layout is nice and friendly, and I like the old fashioned three-column look with the nice, wide test field for posting nice, wide pictures.

The thing is, there are some features I really want to use, but I'm not able to with this template.

Needless to say, I think it's time I change the look here, and hopefully I can find something that's not too brutal. Keep those fingers crossed.

I'm thinking a neon green background with either jet blue or flaming pink text. I want to burn what I say into your eyes. When you close them, oh yeah! You're going to still be able to read what I wrote.

hehehe...

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/30/2008 10:58:00 PM

Ooops...

2008-09-30T20:04:00.000-07:00

So, I was going to try and post all those earlier things onto my Blogger blog, but the formatting made me very, very unhappy...

Now, here's what I'm going to do (and this idea comes from Beth of the Nutwood Junction blog): I'm just going to move this whole shebang over to Blogger, and then I'm simply going to link to it as an archive.

Easy-peasy, people!

Thanks,
Dan

P.S. Sorry about the previous entry. Hope you all didn't mind getting a bonus alert from me.

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Baby, I'm crazed...

2008-09-30T15:27:00.000-07:00

Wooo...

Now, since every inch of my pudgy, little paws are really sore today, I'm going to try to cram as many thoughts as I can into today's picture entry. The planet's been considerably more schizophrenic than usual it seems, and to say it's not been gnawing on my brains would be a huge mistake.

First, today's picture is an attempt of mine to get creative with some off-camera lighting in my laundry chute. I placed my Vivitar flash with a blue gel under the chute and set it to bounce off the water-heater back there.

The other flash, my Nikon SB-600, is up above with a red gel.

Now, obviously, those colors make a huge difference in this black and white image. As you can see, the reds really jump out at you. And the blues? Well... If you don't feel as though you're sitting on a beach sucking Mai Tais somewhere in the tropics, I don't know what to tell you. I mean, look! It's just...

Yeah. The colors sucked ass. So, I made this image black and white and handled the opposing lights with level adjustments in Photoshop. I think it turned out kind of creepy. I mean, if I was a little more disturbed (and this laundry chute was maybe a little stronger since it threatens to crumble into kindling if I toss a wet towel down there), this is where I'd keep my victims before introducing the chainsaws, rats and meat hooks.

Thankfully, I'm a nice guy and not that crazy... yet.

Anyway, it's a neat thing, I think.

Now, the stock markets... Oh boy.

I have no idea what's going on since I know next to nothing about those sorts of things. However, I don't think the bailout is the answer since it seems to me that it is nothing more than a Band Aid on a bullet hole.

Everyone is losing as a result of this. Some are going to be smacked quite hard, and some, not so much. I don't think we'll see the the results of this corruption until several years from now, however.

Still, it's a puzzle that I don't think anyone really understands. These banks go under, yet these fat cat bosses receive millions in reward instead of a nice, long rope with which to hang themselves. Take Alan Fishman, for instance. This asshole puts in seventeen days of "work" at Washington Mutual, and for such loyal and devoted service, he's getting almost twenty million dollars as a shiny golden parachute/severance package.

He didn't earn that. He doesn't deserve it. But, America is a confused, greedy and corrupt place these days, but he's going to take it, and he's going to run off into the sunset laughing as the people he's robbed are unable to retire.

Now, I know all of you would like to be able to work for two weeks and get that sort of scratch, but we also know that should never happen because, in the real world with real money, things aren't supposed to work that way. Ever.

Nonetheless, take it for what it's worth, people. As I said, I don't understand this mess.

And, finally, AOL Journals is falling out of the tubes, and, as of November 1st (just a little sudden), you who use AOL as a blogging platform will be essentially homeless. Now, the folks over at Magic smoke are rattling on about there being some sort of means to transfer your AOL Journal over to Blogger; however, not a single one of them has said just what that procedure is or how to go about it.

Hopefully, they will share this secret wisdom soon before people start swinging knives. I know there are a whole heap of older entries I'd like to move over to my Blogger blog, but, until now, there was never an easy way to do it. Unfortunately, with AOL being AOL, I'm thinking there still isn't going to be an easy way to do it.

I'll be honest, I have mixed feelings about the end of AOL Journals. I'm sad to see them go since, not only are there some truly amazing and awesome bloggers over there who have really made a difference in my life with their words, it's where I started when I decided to immerse myself in scribbling upon the world-wide-weird. It's always been such a wild and crazy community, and I am certainly going to miss it.

Unfortunately, a long time ago, AOL started causing more problems for me than I wanted to deal with, and I simply jumped over to Blogger and was happy to maintain my AOL Journal as a mirror of my new, shiny blog. Ironically, I actually did that in orderto have some sort of back up for my mad ramblings.

Anyway, I'm sure I will write more about the end of AOL Journals in the future. We've got a month, after all. And, I hope we can make the best of it. And, trust me when I say this, Blogger is really not so bad. There is much more freedom in page layout, and you can easily add your own features and make your blog truly yours through any number of widgets and whatnots out there.

Well, I think I've typed more than enough today. My knuckles are a-screamin'. So, good luck, and don't forget that I'm looking forward to some new neighbors here on my little slice of the interwebs (so much for that quiet blog in the country, though).

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/30/2008 04:18:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Polarize me!

2008-09-29T11:09:00.000-07:00

Now, it's been a while since I talked about the actual ins and outs of photography as I've learned them through what can only be described as my completely blind swan-dive into amateur picture snapping. So, I'm due, people! I must have learned something along the way...

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned polarizers in the past. They're expensive, but very handy things, if you're looking to really make your pictures look deeper and and richer and all-around nicer. The thing is, here I sit talking about photography, but I rarely post any pictures of what the hell I am rattling on about, and that makes me look like a gurgling pedant.

Weird how that happens, I guess.

Anyway, here's a picture taken without a polarizer:

Now, it's not without its charms insofar as a picture of a bunch of bowls of dribbling water can be, and hey! I think I see a quarter in there that missed its wishful pitch into the fountain (that would probably explain why that big, fat check from that nice man in Nigeria hasn't shown up yet).

So, that's without the polarizer. What does it look like with a polarizer? Well... Have a look for yourself.

Notice anything different?

If you said, "Wow Dan! Your thumb really stands out a hell of a lot better against that grass with the polarizer on the end of your lens. That's just amazing," you'd be right.

Polarizers do wonderful things to colors since they cut out certain waveforms of light that can mute or dull colors which would normally be rich and vibrant.

Let's call it glare. Polarizers get rid of glare. I think anyone with a pair of Foster Grants could tell you this. For example, look at the water. Without the polarizer, none of that is really visible since the reflection on the surface of the water covers it like a blanket. However, put the polarizer on, and now you can see the scum and stones that lay beneath the surface.

Other than that, circular polarizers can be pretty damn expensive, and the one I used here was somewhere around $100 to fit on my superwide 10-20mm lens. That's a little insane, but I also have one to fit my lenses which have a 52mm filter ring, and I grabbed that one from Best Buy for $20 (and I think they're all around that price regardless of filter size).

It's a steal!

Now, it's not the best, but it's cheap, and it works much better than its pricetag would suggest. So, if you'd like to fiddle with these things, I'd recommend starting there.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/29/2008 12:06:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Warning! 'ere be whining.

2008-09-29T09:32:00.000-07:00

Now. Today absolutely sucks, and as far as an inventory of aches goes, they start at the tips of my frigid little toes and just sort of spark their way up to the top of my neck. So, it's a bit of a drag at the moment.

On the other hand, the head's still good (I think) and pain free.

It's a little like the last time I played the game Risk, and my head is kind of like Madagascar. The world was taken over by a single horde of color (I think it may have been blue); however, on the tiny island of Madagascar, there was a ferocious enclave of red tents and towers. I was beaten back to this Ebola-laden patch of earth off the African coast, but I had hope. However, sitting across from me was a mighty general full of Patton-esque piss and vinegar, and I would need more luck than strategy if I was to fulfill my hopes and dreams of global domination and issue in a new era of totalitarian oppression.

In a few moments, I had taken bites off Africa, and my little tents began speckling the savanna. Across from me, the General attacked but was soundly beaten back. I took Europe with little struggle. Russia fell (I lost many tents in Kamchatka, but who doesn't?).

Eventually, to make a long story short, the world was mine, and there was much rejoicing.

The moral of the story is, so long as I don't have a headache in Madagascar, I can own the world (or something like that).

Anyway, In other news, I've not been taking many pictures, and I have no idea when I'll return to the whole Daily Picture thing. It's been tough for me to leave the house. It was a beautiful weekend in Wisconsin, but there were some hefty aches which kept me from hopping in my Jeep and heading out into the world with my camera. The thing is, it's not so much the pain that kept me from doing things. You see, when you've got such extensive inflammation, it just sucks whatever energy you have right out of you, and all you really want to do is sleep. So, I tried to do that, but those aches just don't make that sort of thing very easy.

Nonetheless, it's been a bitch!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/29/2008 11:03:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Best Quote Ever.

2008-09-28T10:34:00.000-07:00

So, there's this thing going on today that's being called "Pulpit Freedom Sunday." It's a funny thing. Pastors, priests, preachers and other voices for God are seeking to violate established U.S. Tax Law by telling their congregations how to vote in the upcoming presidential election.

Of course, this violates a church's tax-exempt status as they operate in clear violation of the separation clause of the U.S. Constitution's First Amendment.

WASHINGTON â Pastor Gus Booth remembers when he used to simply encourage his congregation of 150 in Warroad, Minn., to vote each Election Day. Now, he thinks it's important to tell them which candidate should get their vote.

On Sunday , as part of the "Pulpit Initiative" organized by an Arizona-based conservative Christian legal group, Booth is set to join dozens of clergy nationwide in challenging Internal Revenue Service rules that prohibit churches from politicking by supporting or opposing candidates.

"If we can tell you what to do in the bedroom, we can certainly tell you what to do in the voting booth," said the minister, an evangelical leader of a nondenominational church, who expects to endorse Republican John McCain during his Pulpit Freedom Sunday sermon.
(story)

I love it. From the mouths of zombies comes one of the most telling displays of religious arrogance imaginable. In fact, I think that should be printed on a bumper sticker.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/28/2008 12:17:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Sleep Lesson #1.

2008-09-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

How to sleep.

First, find a cat.

Next, set the cat down somewhere (it can be a couch, a chair, a bed, anywhere) and begin to observe the cat.

When the cat tips over, you too should feel very sleepy in one or two minutes.

If this doesn't work, might I suggest reading the biography of Michael Bolton on Wikipedia.

Now, what you see here is DeafCat completely crashed in the windowsill soaking up the sun... With all that fur... On an eighty-degree day...

I suppose that would explain the brain damage and why she tends to sit in the middle of the kitchen staring longingly at the oven like Sylvia Plath every time I cook a pizza or a pot roast.

-DP

P.S. Look! There's my Jeep. It's kind of muddy at the moment since the last time I went out for a drive, I found myself getting really bored with that whole paved road thing. Besides, there was a nice path type thing going from where I was to where I wanted to be, and if I followed the road, it would have added an extra mile to my drive. Let's face it, in this day and age, I've got to really start driving less and taking more efficient routes to save money.

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/28/2008 12:54:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] I can haz research staf now?

2008-09-27T22:53:00.000-07:00

First, thanks to Paul for the quick and informative answer to my question about what the hell John McCain was getting on about with that whole nuclear power-plant reducing our dependence upon foreign oil statement. As Paul commented in the previous entry:

During 2004, 05, and 06 the USA generated almost 2.6 million kilowatt hours of electricity through the combustion of petroleum and natural gas, about 21% of the total national power generation for those years. In addition to reducing American reliance on foreign oil, increased nuclear power generation would contribute to a significant drop in greenhouse gas emmisions. Of course, in that arena, oil isn't the problem. Coal is, representing almost half of all electrical power generation in the country.

The Google-fu is strong with this one!

The thing is, they lumped petroleum and natural gas together to come up with their numbers, and I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say that if you split those two, you'd find that the number of oil-burning power plants to be really, really small. In fact, as Buckoclown (aka Ken) on my AOL Journal points out, that number is so small, it hardly constitutes what I would call a "dependence":

You are correct that a small percentage of our electrical generation is produced using petroleum in the US, about 2%, mostly in California (they do not allow coal in CA).
http://www.eia.doe.gov/cneaf/electricity/epa/epat1p1.html

So, is our country dependent upon foreign oil? Yes. Very, freakin' much so. In fact, we're dangerously dependent, and that has got to change somehow.

However, would building nuclear power plants lessen this dependence? Not really.

Anyway, I just thought it was a very strange thing for McCain to say. Personally, I have no problems with building nuclear plants. I think today's technology would make a Chernobyl-level event improbable. On the other hand, the nuclear waste is a different story, and until a safe way of disposing of this crap is discovered, nuclear power will not be an altogether viable alternative to coal or petroleum.

Nonetheless, thank you very much Paul and Ken for the information. I totally owe you guys beers next time you're in Milwaukee.

Now, McCain and his confusion about our addiction to oil isn't really one of my biggest worries. In fact, it's actually kind of small in spite of how he's got the lobbyists in his pocket, and both he and his running mate are a little too chummy with, and probably willing to act in the best interests of, the oil producers in this country.

The thing that really concerns me is best demonstrated with this:

I don't want any more fucking wars! I don't want to "bomb-bomb-bomb. Bomb-bomb-Iran" no matter how melodic it sounds. I don't want to pick fights with Plain's arctic nemesis "Pootin" when he "pears his head into our airspace" (whatever the hell that means).

I think we should go back to fighting those responsible for attacking us and stop dicking around in countries that had nothing to do with those who attacked us. To treat war so cavalierly as though it's a game which will bring some level of glory to you if you are a leader, is foolish beyond words. That is the action of bully desperate for respect and taking the most misguided route to gain that respect. War is, and it should always be, a last resort. Respect is earned, and it is not something attained through fear. There is a difference between fear and respect, and these days, it seems a lot of people don't understand that.

-DP

--
Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/27/2008 11:52:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Help me!

2008-09-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone!

Last night, as I was watching TV, I was flipping channels between Stargate: Atlantis (Don't judge me, Paul), the Brewers/Cubs' game (Go Brewers!), and, lastly, the Presidential Debates.

Personally, I think the debates were flat, freakin' lifeless (which is actually a good thing), but one thing confused the hell out of me.

During the debates, John McCain said that he wanted to build more nuclear energy plants. He also said that doing so would reduce our dependence on foreign oil.

Now, I don't know if I'm just not grasping things, or if John McCain isn't grasping things, but what the fuck is he talking about?

Do people have oil-powered ceiling fans, toasters, and refrigerators?

Then again, maybe he's talking about electric space heaters. Perhaps, with the way oil prices are, people will be reduced to using these portable heaters to heat their homes this winter because they can't afford to use their oil furnaces.

Anyway, if all you out there can think of how building nuclear plants will reduce our dependency upon foreign oil, please help me out here. I really can't think of a single way in which they would.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/27/2008 02:31:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] 9/26/2008 05:26:00 AM

2008-09-26T03:43:00.000-07:00

Now, I thought you'd enjoy a little picture...

This is the dreaded space between the garages. Somehow, it gets mowed, but I don't do it. I think the neighbor might, but I've honestly never seen him do it.

Perhaps it's the grass-eating zombies who somehow collect back here every now and then and just munch their way around before traveling off down the alley to some other poor, unfortunate span of grass.

To be perfectly honest, I really have no idea who the hell is cutting that grass, and now that I think about it, it's beginning to bother me.

I wish they wouldn't. That's a perfect place to hide some bodies. If the day ever comes where I snap, I'm going to need that patch of grass to remain untouched.

However, if someone's mowing it, maybe they've beaten me to it and stashed a half-a-dozen corpses back there, and they're just trying to keep up appearances so as not to raise suspicions.

Oh, but see... I'm smart. My suspicion is raised because I applied impeccable logic to this situation, and now I just need to exhume one body to find out how he did it. Then, I can go all copy cat, and when the plot is packed to the rafters, I can call the cops, they come and tidy up, and they arrest this unknown little lawn care lunatic.

Now, the plot can go untouched, and I can finally get that killing spree underway.

Looks like I've got my weekend plans all figured out. How about you?

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/26/2008 05:26:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Oh, my love...

2008-09-25T23:18:00.000-07:00

Oh Sarah... Sweet, sweet Sarah. It's impossible to profess my love and devotion to you and your antics in this clumsy, cumbersome medium. Just know that if you weren't currently running with a man who can barely walk as a result of lugging his melon-sized prostate around the country, it would be you and me tripping happily through the snow covered fields of looking for baby seals to club so I could turn them into toasty mittens for your cold little hands.

Sarah? Lipstick or not, you are the bee's knees, doncha know!

Yes. I know. That mean man in Russia is always peeking across the Bering Strait into your bathroom window to drink you in as though you were a bottle of his beloved vodka. But, can you blame him, Sarah? You have the kind of fabulous rack that could defrost a Siberian gulag.

I'm sorry. That was sexist of me. I lose my head sometimes. It's hard not to since the only other catch coming into my house out of Alaska is a box of frozen crab legs I picked up at Piggly Wiggly, and they don't say such sweet, sensible things like you.

They are damned tasty with butter, though.

Thankfully, Sarah, as a result of your proximity to this bad, bad man, you have the foreign policy experience to handle him. And, since I live close to an airport, I have the necessary experience to grab the nearest 747 to fly up there and rescue you should the bad, bad Russian man prove to be more than your immense foreign diplomatic skills can handle.

Now, don't let that Katie person get to you, Sarah. She's an agent of evil. A liberal activist. A communist who hates baby Jesus and loves witchcraft. Don't worry. You're protected against witchcraft thanks to the nice preacher who once got a woman run out of his Kenyan town because she was using her witchcraft to cause traffic accidents. He's got an eye for witchcraft, that one. He's such a nice man for using his Jesus to bless you, and I am glad you have such nice friends, Sarah. We should buy him a puppy and see if he can baptize your teenager's baby.

But, I digress...

Sarah? It's not that you look stupid. Trust me. You do. Don't take it personally. Some people like that. After all, Benny Hill made a career out of it, and our current president was reelected and started a war with it. Stupid sells. Stupid wins. People want to be with stupid (they even have shirts made up and everything). Stupid beats evil any day in my book, baby.

Sorry... I'm a sexist bastard. But, I'm not elitist. I'm too poor to be elitist. Then again, I do live close to a bank.

Oh Sarah. Thank you for showing me how easy it is to gain experience in life. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of being an astronaut, but I always believed so many things kept me from following that dream. Little did I know that I could simply move to Denver to be close enough to space to call myself an astronaut.

Then again, do you like doctors, Sarah? I mean, women want to marry doctors, right? I live right by a hospital, so I've got that going for me.

How about firemen?

There's a fire station less than two hundred yards away. Think of the experience I have there. It's so close, I think I am a great fireman.

Oh Sarah. Thank you for showing me how easy life is. The only way I can repay you is to love you with my whole little heart.

Love and Kisses,
DP

--
Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/26/2008 12:09:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Well... You got a really large number.

2008-09-25T20:37:00.000-07:00

I love this quote:

"It's not based on any particular data point," a Treasury spokeswoman told Forbes.com Tuesday. "We just wanted to choose a really large number."

What are we talking about here?

Anyone?

Yes! You in the front. What do you think?

Umm... No. I'm sorry, but we're not talking about how many red cups to get for tonight's annual all-you-can-eat chicken-fry/community kegger. Thanks for reminding me though. We should probably pick up a few more cups.

You see, this number is how our ~~trusted Bush lackeys and cronies~~ Treasury Department arrived at that big, freakin' seven-hundred billion dollar number of tax-payer money they seek to swipe out of your pocket without any question or oversight so as to bailout some crumbling financial institutions.

Obviously, these are the top economic minds of our nation, and, well, since they are so smart, you see, they can pull numbers completely out of their asses with absolutely no research into the matter whatsoever. It's like if my Jeep ran out of gas and I showed up at your front door and told you to give me a thousand bucks to top off the tank --no questions asked.

Now, not to get all foil-hatty and stuff, but why do I get the feeling that this bailout is not so much an attempt to fix the economy insofar as it's one last attempt by the corrupt and greedy Bush Administration to rob the American people blind on his way out of office? Why else would that chimp-faced, little coke-head interrupt prime-time television to, once again, terrify the population into believing him?

Why else would there be such a rush to pass this legislation and hand over money of this amount with the disturbing caveat that it receive a rubber stamp with no oversight, no questions, no scrutiny, no debate, nothing?

Seriously. It's amazing what these bastards believe they can get away with as they wreck the nation and line their pockets. Hank Paulson asked Congress to give him 700 billion dollars with no investigation into where that money was going or how it was to be dispersed. No plan. Just a big, fucking check.

Anyway, like I said, if I told you my car desperately needed gas or the entire economy will be destroyed and global panic will ensue, and then I asked you for a thousand bucks (or two thousand, or ten thousand?) and you can't ask me any questions about why I need a that much money. You see, that's what these assholes are doing. They pulled a monster number out of their asses with no research into how much they actually need, and they expect Americans to simply give it to them without asking or any way of knowing where that money is really, truly going.

Do you honestly trust the Bush Administration enough to do that? Do you really trust them?

The thing is, and this is a very funny thing, acting in such haste in this manner will not make things any better. And, contrary to what our duplicitous president says, we actually do have the luxury of time in finding a genuine solution to this crisis so long as we keep our heads clear. Don't let Bush terrify you into making yet another poorly thought out and dangerous decision, America.

Take his only power --the power to terrify you-- away.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/25/2008 09:44:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Ya. You Betcha der's a trainwreck, doncha no.

2008-09-25T09:40:00.000-07:00

This is both sad and terrifying....

Yowza!

You know you're blowing an interview when sweet, little Katie Couric is hounding you for an answer.

"I'll try to find ya some, and I'll bring 'em to ya." Palin says.

Why doesn't she know?

Shouldn't she know?

There's more to being a "maverick" than simply taking criticism from both sides of the aisle. Hell! If that's the case, lots of Senators, Congressmen and every president in history could be called a maverick --even that freakin' whipped, little bitch currently running in circles trying to find a corner in the Oval Office could be a maverick.

Eeeesh!

No wonder why McCain wants to run away from the debates with his tail between his legs. The second either of these two goons opens their mouths, they broadcast to the whole world how blinkingly stupid they truly are. Just look at the video above (or read the transcript) and see if you don't find yourself waiting for an answer... an actual answer. I'm not talking about the garden-variety white noise of wallpaper rhetoric and simple freakin' platitudes. I mean an honest, straight answer.

In fact, strangely enough, I think Palin's only reasonably honest answer is her last sentence that she will find those examples and bring 'em to ya' Katie.

What is it with McCain and Palin that requires people to always WAIT for them?

These two window-lickers are too rock stupid to run America. McCain clearly can't handle more than one thing at a time, and Palin's head is crammed so far up her ass in search of God that she doesn't have the slightest clue as to what's going on in the world around her.

Really... Bring those examples, Sarah. Or, did the dog eat your homework? Just don't forget that, you know, we're not going to hold our collective breath waiting for you.

-DP

--
Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/25/2008 11:12:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Run and Hide!

2008-09-24T20:44:00.000-07:00

It's going to be fun watching the political right of this nation try to spin McCain's begging for a suspension of campaigning to "focus on the economy."

I don't think anyone sees this as anything other than a political gimmick, and if you do, well... stop and ask yourself what relevant committees either of these two candidates are on which would require them to be in Washington to discuss the creation of this bailout legislation?

Also, wouldn't you think that the American people deserve to hear from their potential president as to how he will personally go about solving this economic crisis in an open debate?

Also, wouldn't you want a president who is capable of multitasking in this day and age rather than one who requires that the population acquiesce to the fact that he is clearly only capable of handling one thing at a time?

Really, people. McCain is in panic mode, and freaking out over something which is out of his control and, thankfully, in the hands of others whose job it is to actually deal with. All he has to do is show up and vote (which, strangely enough, he hasn't done much of to begin with. In fact, McCain has the worst attendance of any senator --even the one who suffered a brain hemorrhage).

Seriously. It's a ninety minute debate, and it's a perfect opportunity to talk about the economy. It's a shame McCain is acting with such blatant cowardice. And, if he tries to suspend the Vice Presidential debates, that's going to be even more pathetic.

-DP

--
Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/24/2008 10:01:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Portal Z.

2008-09-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

Here's a door for you.

Enjoy.

If it makes you think of anything, do share with the rest of the class.

Now, to help you think, I will say that this came from the abandoned airplane factory down the street. So, let your minds wander back to a time when air-travel was a new and exciting thing and that wild, blue yonder was an unexplored, vast expanse.

When the workers went in and out through this door, don't you wonder what may have been on their minds?

Could any of them possibly understand the role their creations would play in the world today?

Other than that, I'm cranked on opiates today (what else is new), and I don't think anyone should expect anything from me other than my being a drooling, unintelligible, fucking potatohead.

Yeah. I'm angry. I get like that some days, and this morning was very, very rough. My hands are shot. My knees are trashed. Feet, neck, shoulders, etc.? All fucked and filled with pain.

The thing is, I've been bitching about this stuff for what seems like an eternity, and I'm sure you're all just as tired --if not more-- of reading about my gripes, grumbles and sundry troubles. However, for whatever reason, I think it's nice to have not only an outlet upon which to unload these gripes, but it's also maybe a good idea to have an updating chronicle of these complaints in the hopes that, one day, I may be able to look back and remember just how pissed off I truly was.

It's just very strange how a chronic, endless pain can weasel its way into your every single action and thought to alter and twist the way you do simple, ordinary things. I think anyone who's ever broken a finger, sprained an ankle, twisted a knee, mashed a toe or suffered some other sort of injury for even a temporary time can relate. It's annoying.

So yeah. I think you'll find me whining here and listing the things which hurt. And, I'll apologize for that ahead of time, and if you don't want to read them, please don't. But, this is the only journal I am keeping, and it seems like as good of a place as any for this nonsense. For some reason, though, I think it's important to keep a log ofthe day's troubles. Perhaps in writing about them, I may actually find an answer, a catharsis, or some level of relief.

Anyway, I am not asking for your pity or any of your sympathy. I don't want it, and I don't need it. Trust me. In this day and age, I'm willing to bet each and every one of you have your own mountains to climb, and you all are probably saddled with something unfair, unwanted, and painful. You'd be crazy if you allowed the insignificant troubles of a largely anonymous blogger into your hearts. Really. You've got better things to care about, people.

Nonetheless, somewhere inside me is a sense of humor. Unfortunately, it's pretty easy for pain, or even a bad day, to trump this sense of humor and ability to laugh as it gets ground into the dirt by a big, unhappy boot.

Don't worry, though. In the end, it is just me writing about me. I don't think I can entertain, enchant or enlighten in every post I write, and I think I'd be an idiot to try. I'd gotten off track and forgotten about why it is I decided to keep one of these blogs in the first place. As a result, entries were forced, thoughts were inevitably strained, and when you do that in the world of the written word, you abandon the elegance that makes it appealing in the first place.

Finally, if you find this collection of words and prattle difficult to grasp, don't think too much about it. This stream of conscious babblefest is nothing more than me trying to find a way of writing about things. Trust me. I have a sense of humor. It's just usually overshadowed by my frustration. So, unloading that frustration here may actually help.

We'll see how it goes. But, boy-o-boy, I am one seriously grumpy motherfucker today. And, it's a good thing I am staying in and loafing around while everything hurts; otherwise, I would probably throat-punch a bag lady. Really... With my mood being what it is, if I went to the movies today, it'd turn into a bloodbath because the person behind me would be talking, then their throat would be slit, and I'm sure I'd have to silence the subsequent screams of all the other terrified folks because all that panicked screeching makes it impossible to watch a simple fucking movie.

So, it's best to stay indoors and see what's on cable.

-DP

--
Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/24/2008 11:21:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Holy Heroes, Batman!

2008-09-23T11:27:00.000-07:00

This picture doesn't have much to do with this post (or the post that's going to happen in a minute or two). The thing is, I'm just not feeling up to writing much today, and for the sake of being economical, I figured I'd combine today's picture with my off-the-cuff review of the traffic accident that was the Heroes premier I watched last night. So, come for the photo, and stay for the rage, I guess.

I skipped the foreplay. There is absolutely no reason to watch an hour-long, geek-fueled, red-carpet extravaganza *JAZZ HANDS* devoted to nothing but no end of ridiculous twaddle about the "new and exciting" season ahead for Heroes.

What's the point?

The only people watching Heroes these days are the loyal fans who stuck it out through last-season's schlock-fest and are silently hoping the series can redeem itself and capture the magic that made the first season so damn fun to watch.

Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen. The two-hour premier scuttled whatever hopes anyone may have had that this once great show can be anything other than a collection of comic book cliches trundling through the same tired old story line about moral ambiguity. And, the thing that should drive the last few fans away is the predictable pairing of last season's "good guy," Noah Bennet, with the series' eternal bad guy, Sylar.

Sound familiar?

Yeah. Batman did the same thing when he teamed up with Catwoman. The humans in Battlestar Galactica joined forces with the Cylons. Laverne and Shirley and Lenny and Squiggy... The list is a long one, and when it comes to Heroes, it's insulting that the show's writers would think that people are so blinking dim to fall for what has become an all-too predictable attempt to breathe life into a floundering series by creating what is inevitably a clumsy, unnatural, and unneeded conflict.

Aside from that, the writing is as dreadful as always. Aside from a comically predictable plot built around the same tired cliches seen in the previous two seasons, the dialogue sounds as though it was sprung from the mind of a brooding, French, drama queen trying to mash Film Noir mumblings and Adam West's Batman together into a sort of nightmarish hodgepodge of incoherent gibberish about what it means to be human.

It's become a silly mockery of itself, and whatever message it may have had has gotten lost in a mad tangle of things everyone has seen before.

Then there's the comic relief provided by Hiro the Hero. Sure. It's cute. And, well, it does provide a light moment where none is needed, and it is subsequently as awkward as a fish in a pasta factory. In other words, it doesn't make a damn bit of sense, and it's just getting in the way at this point. And, don't get me started on how he trips to the future to find out that his best friend turns on him. Gee... That's new.

One thing I did find interesting is the character of Suresh, and his transformation from meek man of science into a person corrupted by super-human powers. Of course, I'm not really interested in that per se. It just blows my mind that someone thought that was a brilliant idea. Somewhere, someone was sitting at a table surrounded by other people. And, that someone sat there with a big, round, beaming face and spoke: "I know! Let's give Mohinder a power. Then, let's have that power corrupt him so he can get laid!"

Freakin' brilliant move, that one.

What's next? Mutant baby? Chosen one? Yadda-yadda-yadda?

The thing which will inevitably sink this entire show is its dependency to lean on the tired, old cliches we've come to know and expect from things about superheroes. The tagline for this season should be "It's been done. Done to death! But, we're going to hump it for all it's worth, and so long as you, the viewer, pretend that you're not bored to tears with this predictable silliness, we're good."

Now, of course I'm going to keep watching. As I said, it's a traffic accident at this point. I just can't look away. Perhaps it'll redeem itself. I actually hope it does. I want to be wrong about this show and this season, and they've got a whole slew of episodes which may or may not change my mind, so, who really knows?

Still. After what I watched last night, it's clear it's going to be a long and troubled year for Heroes.

-DP

--
Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/23/2008 12:13:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Ugh... Monday.

2008-09-22T09:37:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what to say, really. I'm having one of those days where I just can't think of a damn thing to write about. However, I figured I'd post this picture, let you all wander your peepers around it for a while and contemplate this bee (who seemed kind of drunk) on a yucca frond.

This bee spent the better part of two hours just going back and forth on this thing. Sometimes, he'd hang from the bottom, and other times he'd stagger on the top. He'd reach the end (as you see here), turn around and go back up to the other end, only to turn around and do it all over again. And again... And... again!

I wanted to grab a tennis racket and smack the stupid son of a bitch into next freakin' week.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind bees so much. In fact, I figure the little insects have just as much of a right to do their thing as I have to do mine, and so long as they don't get in the way of me doing my thing, I'm fine with them. However, every now and then I see something like this, and I just want to unload a righteous smiting upon the clueless bastard.

Anyway, in the end, I decided to let this bee live. And, for all I know, he's still out there trapped on this plant thinking whatever terrified bee thoughts his little insect brain can compile. He's probably gotten to the point where starvation is setting in, and he's really wishing he'd packed a map to navigate the leaf.

Ah well... I hope you all have a dandy fine Monday. I'm off to the kitchen to get some coffee... Then, I'm back to sitting down and writing... Then, it's back to the kitchen. Then, back to writing... Then...

DAMMIT!

-DP

--
Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/22/2008 11:07:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] She owns it.

2008-09-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

Yup.

She may be deaf. She be kind of blind. She may even not have much of a clue about anything as she wobbles around her world sniffing things with her whistling nose and mewling whatever questions she has.

However, one thing is for certain: this is her house.

Thankfully, she's friendly, and she'll always welcome you in by bumping up against you and leaning against your shin while sniffing your shoes to find out where you've been, who you've been seeing and what you've been doing.

Don't worry. She even does this to DogCat. She's pretty unfriendly to him outside of the house, and she'll hiss at him as though he's an unwanted intruder (she also hisses at sticks, leaves and cracks in the sidewalk, so he tends to humor her and avoid her silliness). However, when he's inside the house, she'll walk up to him and lean against him as though she's a drunken college chick having a hard time keeping herself vertical. And, DogCat will stop whatever he's doing and sit in place while she props herself up.

Make no mistake, though. This is her house.

-DP

--
Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/21/2008 12:24:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Eeek! Galactus is eating my house!

2008-09-20T20:09:00.000-07:00

Yowza!

Last night... err... At about 1:00 am Saturday morning, I stepped outside to catch some night air before bed after an evening spent writing, and I looked to the skies to see an awesome "Moon Dog."

It's pretty surreal, don't you think?

Of course, since it was the dead of night and all, it took some painfully long exposures to grab these shots. But, the end result was wild. You see, normally, the sky is pretty much completely black, but thanks to the shutter staying open for as long as it did, you can actually see some color as a result of the city lights reflecting off the clouds and haze above.

Other than that, I'm sorry for not posting much today. It was a busy day, and that whole time thing seems to have gotten away from me. I swear, one second it was somewhere around noon, and the next, it's ten at night. It was a good day, though.

Anyway, I hope your weekends are going great, and I hope you enjoy the picture (I set it so you can look at the other sizes of this picture. I've had to restrict that lately, and I'll try and write about the reasons for that sometime soon).

Well, I've got to run. I'm beat and this monkey desperately needs his beauty rest... Or, a beauty coma.

G'Night!

-DP

--
Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/20/2008 09:49:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Have a drink on me.

2008-09-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

Ahhh yes.

Last night the clone and I were lounging around the outdoor fireplace swapping tales about the crazed exploits of our mad lives of turmoil. He was getting gassed on gin and tonics, and I had a beer before switching to Coke since the last thing I really want to do is play with fire with a head full of Vicodin and alcohol.

Bad things happen that way.

Trust me. I know this.

Anyway, being the accommodating (and perpetually hungry) lout that I am, some cheese and crackers were served on an old, maple cutting board.

The cutting board was placed by the fire, and conversation resumed and moved along at the sort of pace capable of two people with heads fogged from either opiates or gin. It was fun, the munchies were devoured, and, finally, the cutting board burst into flames.

It was a win for everyone.

-DP

P.S. To be honest, the cutting board broke a long time ago, and rather than get the glue and mend it (again), I decided that it would be much more fun to burn. Plus, my other brother (#2) made a replacement out of a thick hunk of maple --a single piece of solid maple. It will last forever.

--
Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/19/2008 11:09:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Yaaar Redux!

2008-09-19T10:44:00.000-07:00

Arrr... This here tale of a surly sea hag will chill yer pirate bones me mateys!

Granbury resident sees something satanic in team's pirate flag
Football boosters use skull and crossbones to show pride in Pirates; resident sees nothing jolly about it
By SHIRLEY JINKINS
syjinkins@star-telegram.

One personâs spirit symbol is anotherâs banner of doom, according to Hood County residents involved in an unlikely scrap over black skull-and-crossbones flags intended to rally football fans round the Granbury High School Pirates.

"Iâve started a big stink, evidently, in Granbury," said Nadra Arnold-Curry, who spoke up at a recent Hood County Commissioners Court meeting to register her disapproval of the black flags distributed by the Touchdown Club football boosters. "I appreciate our teams and coaches, too. But I have to stand up for my biblical convictions."
('ere be the tale)

Yarrr! She be squawkin' against our beloved Jolly Roger 'cause of her land-lubbin' ghosts. Methinks this 'ere hag be needin' a keelhaulin' to show her that a true pirate's live's a life free --be it out on the briny or upon the stones of earth. We not be needin' her ghostly rules, and since we be piratin' away from chains, we not be needin' her tellin' us what to do!

So, avast ye mateys! And, point your blades n' guns to this silly hag's lumber! We be scuttlin' her noise 'neath the sails of our regal craft The Constitution!

Send 'er to the locker me hearties!

-Captain Rustybottom

--
Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/19/2008 11:09:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Yaarrr!

2008-09-19T09:18:00.000-07:00

Avast, me hearties (and ye bilge rats too).

T'day be a most auspicious day, for it be talk like ye be piratin' day.

-Captain Rustybottom.

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/19/2008 11:09:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Welcome!

2008-09-18T13:16:00.000-07:00

Hi there.

This is my dark and spooky alley in the middle of the night. Over there on the left you can play basketball if you'd like. Also, if you're not a fan of left, you can play basketball on the right.

In fact, just pick a garage other than mine, and you should be set since everyone but me has a basketball hoop. I used to have one, but it broke as a result of ~~being old and beaten up and falling off the garage from rot~~ one of my monster dunks.

All-in-all, it's a nice alley.

Other than that, I was asked about how to nab that sexy star-pattern you see coming from the lights, and I figured I'd take a bit of time to babble on about it. For those of you with cameras, you might find this interesting and something you'd like to try. So, read on.

First, I did not use any sort of special effect filter or any post-processing effect.

All you have to do is set your apertures to somewhere around f/16 to f/20, or so. Then, point your camera at the light source, push the button, and voila! You should be seeing stars.

Now, every camera is different, and every lens is different. So, I can't promise this will work for you. I'm also not sure how it will work on a point and shoot camera, but if you have a manual setting in your camera that can allow you to adjust aperture and shutter speed, give it a try.

You also might need a tripod. After all, you're letting in less light, and as a result, you're going to need some longer shutter times.

Well, that's it for today. I'm off to drool.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/18/2008 03:16:00 PM

Shooting the Subaru.

2008-09-16T16:29:00.000-07:00

The Moon is set,
And the Pleiades.
Night's half gone,
Time's passing.
I sleep alone now.
                                      -Sappho

Last night, I was out snapping shots, and I stumbled upon this neat shot.

Some may get it.

Some probably will not.

In the end, it's not that big of a deal.

-DP

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] In the Papers...

2008-09-15T09:49:00.000-07:00

Weird.

I appear to have a really touchy button on my mouse, and when I center-click on a link, instead of opening in a new tab, the link opens in about three or four new tabs. I figure it might not be the mouse, though. After all, I did play a lot of Asteroids in my youth, and I think, as a result, I have developed an innate and spastic button pushing technique.

Ah well... Not important.

Now, where was I?

Oh yes.

Get this:

I got an email this morning asking me if it would be okay if they printed this picture of mine in one of the local papers, and of course I said yes.

This is the second time they've asked to use a picture; however, on the first go-around, something came up, and they cancelled the edition's run of the entire section that would have contained the picture. So, that's kind of nice, and I'm sure a couple of people will see it and say "Holy shit! Dan's still alive?!?"

Other than that, today I am stoned clean off my freakin' gourd.

I knew it was going to be a bad day when the aches in my hands woke me up, and the crunch in my knees sounded like someone was violating stalks of celery as I negotiated my way downstairs to make coffee and find Vicodin (they really do go together like bacon and eggs).

The thing is, I saw this coming. When I saw a weakened Hurricane Ike meandering its way into my part of the world, I knew that what remained of the intense low-pressure system, and the rain it contained, would mingle with the fifty degree temperatures to create the sort of cold, bone-chilling damp that makes for some long, achy days.

It's weird how that works.

Now, insofar as I'm feeling a heap of pain, at least I'm not the Bulgarian Women's National Hockey Team. I mean, I may feel as though I've been beaten quite badly, but I think I can safely say that, without a doubt, I wasn't beaten anywhere near as bad as an 82-0 score in an Olympic qualifying hockey game.

Yes. You read that right. Eighty-Two to Zip!

In hockey.

I didn't think that hockey scoreboards could even go that high.

Ouch!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/15/2008 11:02:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] It's a dark day, I guess...

2008-09-13T19:13:00.000-07:00

This has never happened to me before...

I can't honestly think of one instance in my years as a reader where I began a book while the author was alive, only to have that author die before that book is finished.

It's a very strange feeling that ground itself into my chest when I learned that David Foster Wallace has killed himself.

For twelve years, I've wrestled with reading Wallace's massive novel Infinite Jest, but I have found it tedious and difficult to negotiate. In fact, more than once I have cast it aside in frustration. Inevitably, though, I would return to pick away at it as though I were pulling on a scab. It's a horrible book, but it's a wonderful book.

Anyway, Infinite Jest came to me in the mail one day in 1996. It was a fucking heavy box. And, I opened it to find this comically large book inside, and with a giggle, I set it on my "to read" shelf where it sat like a threat for several weeks.

During that time, I asked one of my English instructors about this David Foster Wallace character, and as it turns out, he was either his friend or his roommate (I can't remember exactly) while they were students at Arizona. So, needless to say, now whenever I approach that book, the image of one of my favorite teachers inevitably leaps to mind, and I still feel as though it's an assignment than anything I'm supposed to enjoy.

Nonetheless, I am sad that he is gone. I can't say that David Foster Wallace was one of my favorite writers or authors, but as it is with every other human being on the planet, there are things he's done that I do enjoy, and I believe I can say without a doubt that he was certainly a genius and an immense talent, and the world is going to be a worse place without his words.

It's a shame to lose someone like him.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/13/2008 08:44:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] The signpost at the end of the road...

2008-09-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

When walking toward the cliffside end of a long-abandoned road where more than a couple of heartbroken teenagers have hopped in their cars and driven off the edge into oblivion over the years before the passage was closed, when you stumble upon a sign such as this, it's hard not to feel some sort of shiver.

One of my neighbors, growing up, drove her car off the edge of this cliff shortly before her high-school graduation. She was in my older brother's (#5's) grade, and I never really knew her. But, I knew of her, and shortly after that event, the road here was closed with concrete barriers, and mounds of dirt with these barricades were placed in a mad chicane to discourage those drivers from reaching their final destination (of course, if you're ambitious, all you have to do is drive off the road into the vast field on the left and off-road your way to the end).

Nonetheless, there are some ghosts here, and to be perfectly honest, I don't know how many have chosen to meet their end on this strip of pavement. And, before you jump on me for believing in ghosts, I should point out that my definition of ghost is simply the memory of those involved in a tragic and sad event. There are no sheets, rattling chains and things floating around going woooOooo... So, keep your psychics, and those goons from the SciFi Channel away!

On the other hand, there are heaps of people who do honestly believe this strip of tarmac is "genuinely" haunted with all sorts of unexplained noises like squealing tires and what-have-you. And, even better, we've apparently got our own mysterious, potentially man-eating monster carousing the lots and fields, and someone built a MySpace page devoted to their tireless pursuit of the crazed and rabid beastie they've come to call "The Manwolf." They've even got a footprint picture (of course, don't look too closely at it, or you might realize that you're looking at two paw-prints sort of on top of one another in the mud. After all, the place is a pretty popular spot for dog-walkers, and I've got the shit on my shoes to prove it. And, the claw marks on that dude's shirt? Well, when I was climbing around there, I noticed a lot of thorns on a lot of branches).

Anyway, I can see how people could get freaked out running around this place at night. There's nothing there other than what once was. There were beautiful houses and probably some very happy lives that had to be uprooted when it was discovered that the lake was consuming their yards at an alarming and unstoppable pace. Some people put their houses on trucks and hauled them to other parts of town, and others just left them to fall into the lake or to be torn down.

However, once people were gone, something strange happened. The lake stopped its steady diet of earth, and the erosion slowed considerably once the people and their houses were gone 35 years, --or so-- ago (lower lake levels probably contributed to a lot of that). It was odd though, and the timing lends a certain eerie quality to it. It's like the earth there doesn't want any houses on it anywhere west of the train tracks about a half mile up the road away from the bluffs where civilization begins.

Finally, with the story told, you can see that the words in the picture above have a special meaning. It's creepy. And, it's funny in a spooky sort of way. Thankfully, the words are just that: Words. And, the fact that I just sneezed and painted my computer monitor with a field of rainbow speckles while typing this goes a long way in proving that I am still drawing a breath and, most certainly, not dead.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/13/2008 07:32:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] The true tragedy of Ike.

2008-09-13T13:14:00.000-07:00

This video is kind of sad.

<align=center>

Clearly, it's hard to deal with a massive storm that can bring high winds and furries. Many furries are now homeless and wandering the beach confused and lost. Their only hope is to find a generous soul whose home is still standing to feed them the vodka and techno music that furries depend upon for their survival.

People of Galveston! Please open your hearts, your music collections and your liquor cabinets so that these precious and exotic creatures can find some level of solace in these dark and trying times.

-DP
</align=center>

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/13/2008 03:07:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Cool.

2008-09-12T11:47:00.000-07:00

Perhaps this is the first step in the bloody coup that I've been dreaming about for about six or seven years.

Breaking News: Gov. Beshear declares state of emergency to prevent price gouging
01:56 PM EDT on Friday, September 12, 2008

Louisville, Ky. (WHAS11) - There is some breaking news regarding high gas prices.

WHAS11 News has learned that Governor Steve Beshear plans to declare a state of emergency in Kentucky for this weekend.

Declaring a state of emergency will prompt Kentucky's price gouging laws to go into effect.

Sources tell WHAS11âs Mark Hebert that the governor is concerned about reports of people overreacting and getting into fights at gas stations in western Kentucky.

There are reports that gas around Paducah raised to $4.60 a gallon.

The governor is preparing to make the announcement at [sic] today.

WHAS11.com will continue to update this story as more information becomes available.
(Story)

How's that mass-transit system in Western Kentucky? Is it anywhere near the point where people can get to where they need to be by bus or train? You know... like Europe?

No?

I think we need to start executing those guilty of price gouging. We go through this every time a hurricane moves into the Gulf.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/12/2008 12:57:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Blur...

2008-09-12T09:25:00.000-07:00

Hello friends, Romans, countrymen...

No, I'm not sure why Romans should get special mention, but I like Rome. So, it's not a bad thing. Any city where people are encouraged to eat and drink until they die is certainly this particular glutton's kinda town. So, Romans? You'll always have a special place in this cold lump I call a heart.

Anyway, today there is just too much pain, and writing is very hard for me; so here's a picture for you to contemplate:

On my hike yesterday through what was once farmland and a small community of houses, I saw this, and had to puzzle over it for a while. (By the way, as it turns out, I was talking to my mom last night, and I found out that my parents thought about buying a massive Dutch-colonial house in this area before I was born, but, apparently, my father took one look at the cliffs, took another look at his children, and realized that his tax deductions would be in near-constant state of flux considering his kids are borderline adrenaline junkies, and those cliffs are pretty damn inviting.)

Anyway, this manhole is just here... in the middle of a field. There's nothing around --no phone, no lights, no motor-cars. Not a single luxury (sorry. I'm freakin' fracked on Vicodin, and opiates tend to turn me into a drooler with a Gilligan's Island kink).

The first thing I thought of when I saw this was, if I ever find myself homeless, I think this sewer would be a perfect place to live. After all, a hovel in the country sure beats a box beneath a bridge, and we all know I really do yearn for a placid, bucolic existence. There could be nature right outside my ~~front door~~ cast-iron lid, and at night, I can see stars and dream of a toilet or furnace. But, I digress...

Right now, I am not in a very good mood. I'm trying to find a better mood, but it's a gray, gloomy day here and something is kicking off the aches and pains. I do know that the transition into fall, although usually very beautiful and easy on the eyes, is going to once again be a series of torturous and painful strides until I inevitably become acclimated to the new season. I'd like to say that after all this time I'm used to it, but it really is an impossible thing to get used to. I'll do my best not to whine or bore you with my tiny miseries. The thing is, this is my blog, and it will forever be an outlet for my angst, my joy, my sadness, and whatever else inspires me and trundles through my heart and mind when I sit down to compose and create. Unfortunately, lately, these aches are just pissing me right the fuck off.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/12/2008 10:45:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] I'm Lucky... Sorta.

2008-09-11T21:38:00.000-07:00

I can walk here everyday if I so choose. I can meander along these trails that are just a skip south of my house, and I can lose myself and my thoughts among the trees and weeds and sundry critters.

Even better: these hiking trails are right along the lakeshore, and I am hoping that, one of these days, when the morning fog rolls in off Lake Michigan, I can find myself once again on these trails with my camera rig so I can snap some awesome shots of the spooky wilderness. I was thinking of that as I was looking at these images I took earlier today. With just a little fog, I think I'd be smack dab in the center of a Harry Potter novel or somewhere just outside Middle Earth.

These trails are nothing more than a tangle of paths that have been mowed clear by some ambitious person. They run everywhere over the countryside where farms and farm houses once stood. Unfortunately, the abandoned houses have either been removed or they simply fell from the bluffs into Lake Michigan as the tide eroded the land beneath them in heaping, hungry bites.

It's good to have these places, I think --more so in this day and age of constant, brain-stretching input whenever we open our eyes and ears. Everyone needs to get away from time to time, and to me, that's what the world outside our doors is for. Find a place, escape, and just lose yourself with whatever thoughts tumble into your heads. It can be your own backyard, or someone else's. It can be a park or parking lot. It can be five feet of sidewalk or a ten muddy miles beneath your feet. It doesn't matter. Your inspiration and peace of mind is out there. Find it.

In other news, I've taken a bit of a blogging break (again). Strangely enough, I've just not had much to write about lately. That's not to say that there hasn't been stuff going on in my world. I've just hit a sort of wall with this whole thing, and a change of pace was clearly needed. So, I threw this grinding, lumbering wreck of a machine into neutral and just spent the week relaxing until the urge to write once again took root and began to grow. And, that's one of the tricks to life. When you do something because you want to, and not because you have to, the result doesn't matter. What matters is the act, and it can be pretty damn fun when you do things according to your terms. After all, who knows how to enjoy your life better than you?

Other than that, sorry for being so deep. I think I'm just in one of those moods as a result of helping a couple of friends negotiate their way through their respective funks by doing nothing more than what a friend should do.

Well, I'm off to crash. I hope everyone has had a wonderful week, and I hope your day, this day of a sad, never-ending remembrance, was a good one for you.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/11/2008 11:03:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Here! Have a bug.

2008-09-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

<span style="float: right;" com="" photos="" dpoem="" 2825562863="" title="Cicada by DPoem, on Flickr">
I kind of feel sorry for cicadas. Their life-cycle isn't something I'd really envy.

First, they're born. Then, they hibernate underground for 17 years, or so. After that nice, long nap, they dig their way out of the ground, have sex and die.

About the only thing I can think of that has an existence even close to that meaningless would have to be the New Jersey Guido.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/08/2008 12:17:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Now THAT'S a Typo.

2008-09-08T10:11:00.000-07:00

My typing sucks. I mean, I make typos like babies make poop and cats make hairballs.

For instance, a few moments ago, I was using The Google to search for stories on the Large Hadron Collider. And, the page popped up, and all was well and wonderful and shiny and happy.

The thing is, at the top of my search results, I noticed a little blurb saying

Did you mean "Large Hadron Collider?"

Obviously, this got me thinking just what the hell it was I typed into the search box. So, I looked.

As it turns out, I was searching Google for something called a Large Hardon Collider.

Man... I'm dumb.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/08/2008 12:03:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] At The Beach.

2008-09-06T16:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I took a lumbering little hike through the woods and down to the beach near my house. As you can see, it was pretty much a really nice day with brilliant blue skies, occasionally nice temperatures (which I get to explaining a little later), very few bugs, and a handful of clouds left over from Gustav rambling his way all the way up here to Milwaukee to possibly get in touch with his Teutonic roots. In fact, you can see the dwindling remnants of ol' Gus there dying out there on the right (which is south, by the way) as he wanders over to Michigan and the good folks in Holland or Frankenmuth.

Now, as promised, the temperatures.

This little slice of the park is odd in terms of temperatures.

First, there are a lot of trees (natch). their shade keeps the earth nice and cool and damp and all that other stuff that fits that whole forest visage. That much shade really makes a huge difference.

Second, there's a deep, narrow valley running through here, and, as anyone who's taken one of those nasty, Satan-inspired, atheist science classes knows, cold air sinks.

Put those two together, and you've got a nice place to hang on a hot summer day.

Unfortunately, yesterday wasn't so much of a hot summer day as it was a seventy-two degree march into what seemed to be an early fall afternoon. And, in that tiny little valley, I'd say the temperatures were easily twenty degrees cooler. I'm sure that would have been incredibly refreshing had I not been dressed for temperatures in the eighties.

Nonetheless, it was freakin' cold, and I was shivering, and my pictures might be a little blurry.

In other, less prosaic news, I'm waiting on all sorts of camera stuff to be delivered (hopefully Monday). There were just some odds and ends and things I needed, and it's really nothing terribly new and exciting, but these are the things that will make picture taking easier for me.

I ordered a backpack designed to carry my camera and all my lenses. It's a Kata R-103. So, if anyone is familiar with it, let me know what you think. If not, well... just ignore that and move along people! Move along.

I also ordered a new camera strap to hopefully replace the scratchy, cheap Nikon number that came with my camera. And, seeing as how, these days, I am always walking around with my camera dangling from my neck, I figured comfort is important. So, I went with an Op-Tech pro strap with some bonus connectors.

Let's see... I also ordered some adaptor rings for my filters. Well, one filter. A while back, when I got my new 10-20mm lens, I also got a 77mm circular polarizer. The thing is, the filter ring on my other lenses are 67mm and 58mm, and rather than buy more expensive polarizers, I just picked up some cheap, cheap, CHEAP little hunks of metal so I can use the big filter on my little lenses (will it look dorky? You bet. But, I'm saving a couple of hundred bucks).

Finally, last and hopefully last, I ordered a tripod to replace the one that exploded on me. The old one was a cheap piece of plastic and rickety aluminum, and with one little twist too far of a tightening screw, the little mount on the top went bang, and shards of plastic were sent flying everywhere. So, I ordered a Bogen-Manfrotto. It was on sale, thankfully, and I didn't get one of their super-fancy five-hundred dollar numbers that, well, for a tripod, that price just seems a little crazy.

The one I ordered is under $150, and I'm hoping it's a little sturdied than my previous one. I've really heard nothing but good things about this company, and I am kind of excited to fiddle around with it. I figure with that, a couple of light stands, some other odds and ends, and some real estate tasks lined up, things should be pretty nifty.

I think the funniest thing is that I am actually most looking forward to the backpack. It can hold everything, and that's really going to make things much better, more diverse and a hell of a lot easier. After all, I've got some old hiking boots sitting here collecting dust, and I really do need to get out and put some muddy miles under my feet. And, well... Fall is right around the corner, and I am so looking forward to seeing how this camera handles those colors.

The only thing that sucks is that I really wish I had some mountains to play on. Don't get me wrong. Trees are nice. But, everything is so mind-numbingly flat, I feel like I'm living on a pool table. With folliage. Which is pretty weird when you think about it.

Well, people. I've got to run. I hope your weekends are well, wild and wonderful. If anyone's doing anything fun, please don't hesitate to share. I'm kind of couch-bound this weekend with a heap of aches and pains, so, you can give me a chance to live vicariously through your antics.

Ciao!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/06/2008 05:53:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Ouch...

2008-09-05T09:15:00.000-07:00

Well...

Today is "Shot Day," and I can pretty much tell that I am due. We had the remnants of Gustav creep through here yesterday to dump an entire summer's worth of much-needed rain on us over the course of 24 hours.

Nonetheless --and not to complain too much since I'm pretty sure everyone's sick of that by this point-- that whole damp stuff mingled with the cooler weather, and my knuckles and joints are kind of in rough and achy shape.

Don't worry, though. It's not too bad. But, it is annoying, and it sometimes knocks me into a bit of a funk.

In other news, I must have really been crashed last night as I had one of those coma-sleeps that are just so wonderful.

Unfortunately, before I went to bed last night, I let DogCat in the house, and I figured he'd just wake me up like he usually does on those odd moments when he comes in late at night to grab a snack and a nap. Normally, he just barges into my bedroom, grumbles and groans and whines at the foot of my bed, and I wake up, wobble downstairs, open the door and release him into the wild.

The thing is, I was so wildly conked out last night that I didn't hear him. He must've really tried hard to wake me up since, not only was the bedroom door flung wide open, most of the stuff that was atop my dresser was on the floor, and the lamp I keep on the nightstand was in bed with me this morning.

I'll tell you. It's a little weird waking to that sort of thing. I mean, I've rolled over and seen some strange faces first thing in the morning, but a freakin' lamp?

You know it's going to be a really weird day when you see that.

After that, it was the usual taks of getting downstairs, letting the cat out and spending the next several minutes picking cat food kibble out of the bottoms of my feet while waiting for my coffee maker to do its thing.

I was a little ticked off about that at the time, but, in retrospect, I kind of find my cat's tantrums to be pretty damn funny, and it's hard not to laugh at the image of a pissed off cat smacking the crap out of a bowl of cat chow for no other reason than the fact that he just can't work things like doorknobs and whatnots.

Anyway, that's my morning. How are you?

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/05/2008 10:53:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] You damn slackers!

2008-09-04T15:42:00.000-07:00

I found this interesting:

âI guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a community organizer, except that you have actual responsibilities.â
âRepublican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin, acceptance speech, September 3, 2008

Now, this was Mrs. Palin's stab at belittling Barack Obama for the work he did in postponing his entrance to law school so as to aid his strife-stricken, South Side Chicago community when the steel mills closed, and a large collection of people were left with little to no options as to how to go about doing that surviving thing that people are generally rather fond of.

It was a cheap shot, and it missed by a mile.

Sarah Palin essentially took anyone with a charitable and giving bone to task for her own petty political trash-talking. And, she did so at a time when this naiton and this world really doesn't need the wretched, cold apathy of callous, self-serving politicos.

In reading over her speech this morning, I was gobsmacked by, not only the blatant lies and gleaming hypocrisy her speech contained, I found myself genuinely pissed off that this frigid little infant from Alaska had the unmitigated gall to attack a group of people who, though I may not agree with their faith or beliefs, I feel are doing good and positive works with and for people in communities who need them --even those in communities with a population of nine-thousand living beneath the fascist-shroud of a book-banning little tyrant.

Now, I think I can safely say that my pal Rachael would fall into the category of what qualifies as a "Community Organizer." And, if you think for one second that she doesn't have any responsibilities, well... I think, at the very least, you'll find yourself being pointed and laughed as she gasped for breath, and, at the very worst, on your hands and knees picking your molars up off the floor (it depends on just how irresponsible her day was).

Nonetheless, there are countless charitable people out there who do good works. Their numbers are independent of political affiliation and any childish, partisan bias. These are people who give so much of themselves to help those in need; unfortunately, it's clear from her frothy little rambling that Mrs. Palin would much rather stab those people --even those of her own faith and church-- squarely in the back in a sad, little game of pathetic, political pandering.

Aside from that, I've got a lot of reasons to dislike Sarah Palin. For example, during his interview with that odious toad Newt Gingrich last night, Jon Stewart succinctly pointed out with regards to Sarah Palin's teenage daughter, Bristol's, pregnancy, and the Palin family demands that it not be dragged into the campaign vernacular:

"In essence, what [Sarah Palin] is saying: 'respect my family's ability to make this decision, and elect me so that I can keep your family from having the same opportunity'."

Now, I couldn't care less about the Palin family, and I really don't think they should be dragged into this discussion other than to point out the dangerous hypocrisy of demanding that we respect something which she herself clearly does not.

Other than that, there's that whole book-banning thing. I think people who ban books are a certain sort of god-soaked paranoid. It's a book. If you are that terrible of a parent to be bothered with keeping an eye on what your kids are doing or reading, you should not force your community to suffer because of your own blazing incompetence.

However, our communities are suffering. And, it's genuinely disheartening that someone could be so vacant and dim that they would willingly attack and belittle the efforts of those who try to help. And yes. They would probably even help Mrs. Palin's family. That's just the kind of people they are. I consider that immensely responsible. Don't you?

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/04/2008 04:40:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] A great voiced silenced.

2008-09-02T08:05:00.000-07:00

Don LaFontaine has died.

If you ever went to the movies and sat through a trailer, you probably are familiar with Don LaFontaine. In fact, he's done over 5,000 movie trailers (and more than 750,000 TV spots) in his amazing, albeit quirky, career.

That's a lot of talking.

Anyway, one of the funniest things I've ever seen is the following video of five famous voice-over talents in a limo. It just keeps cracking me up.

He will be missed, and going to the movies just isn't going to be the same without his unique and rumbling voice.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/02/2008 09:51:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Amazing.

2008-09-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

It's hard to call myself an American after seeing this.

Amy Goodman, a brilliant journalist and peace activist, is arrested and rung up on bogus charges of "inciting a riot" while trying to find out why two of her producers were jailed during the Republican National Convention.

Peace activist! Inciting a riot?

I think it's the half-witted, knuckle-dragging, power-tripping police thugs who are the ones actively seeking to incite a riot. And, they're doing a good job of it. After all, the easiest way of pissing off those who seek to defend or restore the Constitution is to tear it up right before their eyes.

I'd laugh if it wasn't so disturbing. Instead, I'm just angry, and I'm tired of stories such as these coming out of a nation which lies to the world and itself that it is some sort of beacon of freedom. We are a nation of oppressed people living beneath the regime of inhuman torturers and astounding incompetence. We can not even define freedom any more. We gladly gave up our rights under the auspice of security, and we gave those rights away in order to stuff the pockets of the greedy, corrupt few who continue to send our nation's sons and daughters to die in the desert in their foolish, unjustifiable war --a war built upon nothing but lies.

In exchange, what have we gotten?

Lindsay Beyerstein has an example of that "security" we've received.

Glenn Greenwald has more.

What a stupid, stupid country we've become. If I had the money, I'd leave this country, and I'd be laughing all the way across the Atlantic. Unfortunately, I'm stuck here and left to wonder what the fuck happened to a nation where I once felt proud to be a citizen.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 9/01/2008 11:12:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Survivorman!

2008-08-30T11:38:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven't been following along, Jeff, one of the coolest motherfucking geeks on the planet, is on a limited arctic expedition in Iceland. I've been lurking around his Flickr photostream while he posts pictures of his insanity, and I have to say, I've been enjoying the hell out of his shots.

Iceland is one of those places I've always wanted to go to if, for no other reason, than to just wander around the ice and the volcanoes to maybe find some sort of somber inspiration in a land of such maddening extremes. It seems like a great place to go.

As for Jeff, well... He looks like he's having fun eating Iceland. Of course, I don't think you'd find me gnawing on a glacier (sensitive teeth, ya know).

Putting that glacier in a bucket of gin?

Yes.

Gnawing?

No.

Anyway, I hope your Saturday is going well and wild. If you find yourselves sitting around sweating on these hot, but dwindling days of summer, think of Jeff here, and give his pictures of glacial living a gander, and hopefully that can cool you off.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/30/2008 01:24:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Damndamndamn!

2008-08-30T10:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I can't make it to the biker fest going on downtown.

Not only do things hurt like crazy, my Jeep's in the shop until Tuesday (I took it in to get one simple thing fixed, and, as it turns out, a whole shitload of things need repair), and, well... it would be a long, long walk just to see bikers.

So, I'm staying put to watch football in my air-conditioned hovel! YAY!

Anyway, those of you expecting to see pictures of this mad, little event, well... sorry.

Now, that said, I'm off to take some opiates and mope.

Peace out, Gangstas!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/30/2008 12:26:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] It's winter in summer...

2008-08-28T17:09:00.000-07:00

Now, as some of you know,a while back, I got an infrared filter which I wasn't entirely happy with. So, I ordered a replacement from Hoya, and I can honestly say that has made a huge, huge difference.

The picture you see here is an example of that filter. Of course, I still have to dial in the white balance, but as you can see, even without it set to any IR channel, the results are pretty good.

Other than that, the day has been busy.

Anyway, I hope you all like the picture.

Ciao!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/28/2008 06:59:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] The Last One (for now).

2008-08-27T20:10:00.000-07:00

Ooo...

The more I stare at this simple shot, the more I like it. It's got a sort of airplane propeller effect from my flash going off just before the shutter closed. In other words, aside from tweaking the levels in Photoshop, no other things were done to this shot.

I took this with the new lens that came today. It's a fun lens. It's a good lens, and I expect you're going to be seeing a lot of pictures taken with it in the coming days and weeks.

It's the Sigma 10-20mm, and oh my freakin' god! It is wide! In fact, aside from some really abstract Olympus product, it's the widest non-fisheye lens out there. So, yeah. I'm going to be having a blast with it. In fact, if it was any wider, I'd pretty much start time traveling.

Aside from that, it was a nutty day on this end. My hands have once again been screechy and painful and not a whole hell of a lot of fun to use. But, it was nice to get a new toy spend some time figuring it out. After all, this lens isn't exactly the easiest thing in the world for a dummy like me to use. I mean, I slapped it on my camera, and the world stretched out before me in this massive, massive field of view.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to heading downtown to snap some shots of the bikerfest going on. Unfortunately, it's supposed to rain the next couple of days, so we're just going to have to see.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/27/2008 09:31:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] It's Hard to Say, Really...

2008-08-26T09:28:00.000-07:00

Here's today's picture...

I kind of like it; however, in trying to come up with a good way of describing it, I couldn't decide if I wanted to go with some sort of bee/flower/funnel thing, or if I wanted to describe it in terms of a Millennium Falcon/Death Star/ Tractor Beam point of view.

It's really a coin toss when you think about it, but if you do take the Star Wars route, do yourselves a favor and don't forget to make that whirring/droning alarm sound when the ship was being pulled into the hungry bowels of the original Death Star. 'cause, you know, if you don't, you're just cheating yourselves.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/26/2008 11:19:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] They're Coming!

2008-08-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

They're on their way...

Fetch the whiskey. Hide the women. And, maybe... well... burn some massive hunk of meat because the bikers are coming to Milwaukee. And, according to this sign that was being dragged across the sky like a surly child through a grocery store yesterday, lots of bikers are coming.

Three-hundred thousand...

That's a lot of freakin' bikes.

And, not just any bikes. These are window rattling, jar-your-fillings-from-your-head, Harley Davidson motorcycles.

Why can't Milwaukee be the home of Vespa scooters?

Trek bicycles? (Actually, those are built a skip West of here)

Pet Rocks?

Anyway, the two things Milwaukee is most known for, coincidentally, belong quite snugly into the Biker Motif: Loud, grumbling Harleys, and beer. And, according to that banner in the sky, we're heading for a perfect storm of alcohol and motor vehicles. It's not only going to be a fun time. It's going to be a dangerous time. Yeeehaa!

Now, as aloof as I may seem to the whole idea of a city packed full of sweaty, beer-swilling bikers, I'm actually kind of looking forward to the insanity. After all, it's an event. It's a big event. And, this city has gotten somewhat stale in its tedium of leaping from one festival to the next with nothing to really separate one from the other aside from the myriad of ethnic heritages that make up this city. So, in light of that, we need the bikers. We need the noise rattling down our streets driving our dogs howling, barking mad.

It's either that, or we just Polka until our legs fall off.

Still... three-hundred thousand?!?

Ooof...

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/25/2008 09:06:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Miss me?

2008-08-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

Hey folks! Sorry I've been neglecting this blog for the weekend. Things here have been somewhat nutty, but nothing terrible has happened.

The thing is, I got this new infrared filter, and, along with a few other of life's tediums, it's consumed a heap of my time as I try to figure it out. It's not been going so well, and for you non-photography people, you could probably skip vast swaths of this entry since, well... I need to complain.

Anyway, this filter is actually pretty interesting, but the results are not what I am after. The white balance is blown, and if I want something other than the garish, monochromatic results you see in today's picture, I need to grab a custom white balance off a patch of sunlit grass. After all, grass reflects a lot of infrared light, and setting the balance to the grass would render some nice, yummy, ethereal-looking, snow-white leaves and lawns and what have you.

Unfortunately, I'm having a genuine bitch of a time gathering the white balance data by shooting at a patch of grass. In fact, I've spent the better part of three days trying with different exposure settings to get the data needed. I've actually got a somewhat nasty sunburn from wandering around with the mad-dogs and Englishmen in the mid-day sun... We're talking hundreds upon hundreds of shots, and not a single one has rendered a usable result.

Nada...

All I need is one.

Now, don't get me wrong, the results I am getting are nice, but the colors are so washed out, I can only process them to black and white, for the most part. And, even though black and white IR photography is nice, it's not what I'm after. What I'm getting now is really not too different from just slapping a colored hunk of glass on the front of my lens and shooting through it.

Anyway, I established that it's my filter that's making it impossible for me to gather what I need to render the shots I'm after. And, well... I can't say I'm surprised. I mean, I only paid a few bucks for this cheap piece of glass. So, I ordered a better filter, and hopefully that will set things straight.

It is unbearably annoying...

One other problem is that we seem to be entering into a drought here in Southeastern Wisconsin, and finding a patch of lush, green grass is almost impossible to begin with. Everything is just baked brown and crispy.

So, yeah... I'm just rattling off some angst here. I'm not really angry or anything. I'm just frustrated, and it's become a mission of sorts. Every day, the sun shines, and every freakin' day, I get out there and roast my brain in the hot summer sun trying in vain to get this fucking reference that should only take a couple of seconds...

Arrgh!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/24/2008 01:06:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Ooo... Wicked.

2008-08-21T13:59:00.000-07:00

Earlier today, I got an infrared filter in the mail, and the second I took it out of the box and slapped it on the end of my lens, the sun which was beaming down today turning my world into a baked and desolate wasteland, promptly hid behind a vast blanket of dead gray.

Normally, that wouldn't have been so bad, but this filter needs all the light it can get. It completely blackens everything in the view finder; however, thankfully, the autofocus operates before the camera's internal IR filters, so that still works. You just have to hope that what you're pointing at is what you want to shoot.

It also renders everything in this eye-twisting, putrescent pink color, but a few skips through Photoshop is more than enough to remove the pain.

Believe it or not, it's actually a lot of fun. I just hope the sun comes out one of these days so I can get some decent shots around town with it to figure out just what the hell I'm doing.

Anyway, as for today's photo, I'm not horribly impressed with it; however, if you look at the background, I think it kicks some serious ass. The trees just take on a life of their own with this filter, don't you think?

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/21/2008 03:44:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] When is a loss a win?

2008-08-21T12:49:00.000-07:00

Sorry if this is a spoiler post, but I just have to scribble something about the USA women's Olympic softball team.

USA needed to lose.

Their dominance in women's softball is perhaps the greatest reason why the game was removed from the 2012 games in London, and if they want this game back in 2016, a loss by the US women would go a long way in showing the powers that be that the game of women's softball is actually competitive and worth following.

Now, do I think they intentionally lost?

I don't know. That's stepping into tin-foil-hat-territory. It would be pretty much impossible to throw away a gold medal in any Olympic game. However, to actually save the sport by keeping it on the world stage, there's got to be some level of competition instead of just a constant, never-ending dominance by a single team. And now, as much as we can lament this loss, the people of Japan can also feel the sting of not being able to defend their Olympic gold in the games four years from now. In other words, there are now at least two nations which want to see women's softball returned to the Olympic Games in 2016.

So yeah. Instead of sitting here telling ourselves that we kicked so much ass that the world didn't want to touch us, we now are sitting here saying that, hopefully, we'll get a shot at redemption in eight years.

Still, we needed to lose. And, I'm sure the conspiracy crowd will be rattling themselves silly over this, and who knows? Maybe they're right. But, it's the Olympics, and if you are given the choice of winning gold but never seeing your sport in the Olympics again, or losing the gold, accepting silver, and maybe giving those in charge of these things a reason to keep your game alive on the world stage, which would you choose?

That's a hell of a sacrifice, and that's what the USA women face. These women love this sport, and the only time it ever has any relevancy is every four years when it pops up in the Olympic games and a whole nation of people cheer for them. That's got to be an amazing feeling. But, it's also got to be incredibly gutting to know that by being too good at a sport you love, you helped drive it into obscurity, and that nation of people who once cheered for you will now be cheering for something else altogether.

Now, the last thing I'd ever want to do is belittle the win by the Japanese women. They played a hell of a game, and they clearly deserved the gold. Those women are heroes in their nation now. I'm willing to accept the fact that the USA women underestimated their opponent. After all, that's got to be an easy thing to do when you essentially skated through to the gold medal game by crushing everyone in your way. How do you prepare for a team that can beat you when you're playing teams which can't even come close?

Anyway, it's sad to see this game gone. And, I hope it comes back in eight years.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/21/2008 10:52:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Vroom...

2008-08-19T17:41:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone.

Busy day today. I'm sorry, but I don't have a heap of time to write. So, here's a good picture of DogCat lounging around looking cool:

Oh yeah. He's got his swerve goin'. Even with those huge, dirty paws, he's confident he'll get the ladies.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/19/2008 07:37:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] It's Monday Already?

2008-08-18T10:11:00.000-07:00

For lack of anything better to post as far as pictures are concerned, here's a shot of my new flash.

I freakin' love this thing.

It's one of the new Vivitar 285HV strobes, and not only is it nice and powerful, it's also not bogged down with no end of tedious automatic features. It's just an old-school toy with old-school charm.

Yeah. It's big and bulky, and when I throw it into my Nikon's hotshoe, it sits atop my camera like an oppressive, gaudy monument to time in photography when creating light came with no end of fire hazards and charred faces.

On the other hand, it's fun to use. And, at full power, it's pretty cool hearing that pop as the flash does its thing and lets loose a blinding explosion of light.

Other than that, well... It's Monday, and I'm just feeling kind of off and whatnots. There's probably a pretty good chance my head is still stuck in the weekend, and I'm just having a rough time wrapping my mind around Monday.

Anyway, rather than rattle on, I'm going to go watch the Olympics and veg out with my old-school toys.

See ya!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/18/2008 11:37:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] My Work Here is Done!

2008-08-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

Milwaukee has been named the #1 Sexiest City.

Obviously, I can't disagree with these results since, well, let's face it. I'm a god damned sexy beast. I mean, not many men in other parts of the world can pull of my shaggy Rasputin-esque chin-mullet coupled with the unwashed, wrinkled laundry look while also being bathed in the paint-flaking funk of Hai Karate like I can.

I make Milwaukee sexy. And, if you don't think I'm sexy, trust me, in a little while, you'll be drunk enough to start calling me Brad Pitt. Beer's cheap here, people.

Now, obviously, as can be seen in the picture on the right, The Clone also shares my unabashed thrill to be a citizen of the #1 Sexiest City.

He's single ladies.

Just look at the little fellow. All those years of beating on his head with a shovel have done a lot to shape him into a well-adjusted, marginally-functional, mostly-retarded adult who's not the kind of guy to let a little chronic bed-wetting problem keep him from standing proudly on the mantle of all that is sexy right along with every other beer-swilling, cheese-eating Festival monkey.

Today, my fellow Milwaukeeans, we are sexy, sexy people, and I think we should drink ourselves silly so that we remain sexy.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/15/2008 03:59:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Get a Room... err... House in the Country.....

2008-08-15T09:47:00.000-07:00

Well, this just cracks me up...

British Man Banned from Girlfriend's Home Due to Noisy Sex
Friday, August 15, 2008

LONDON â A British man has been banned from visiting his girlfriend's home after neighbors complained about noisy sex, a local official said Thursday.

A court barred Adam Hinton, 32, from being within 110 yards of his 29-year-old girlfriend Kerry Norris' apartment, Brighton and Hove City Council spokesman Mike Taggart said.

Residents of Norris's publicly owned home had been complaining since 2006 about thumping music, banging headboards and screamed obscenities, Taggart said.

Neighbors also complained about Norris sunbathing naked in her yard, and were upset that a 6-year-old child in the building had been "subjected to the sort of obscenities you wouldn't want a 6-year-old to hear," the spokesman said.

"She is a classic nightmare neighbor," Taggart said, insisting the case was not about sex. "It's about allowing your neighbors to have a normal decent life without being disturbed."

The court granted the city council's request for an injunction banning Hinton from the apartment because Norris had ignored a previous court order demanding that she be more quiet, Taggart said.

Norris last week was forced to pay $560 in fines and court costs for breaking the "noise abatement order," Taggart said.

Neither Norris or Hinton could be immediately located for comment. Brighton and Hove is located in southern England.

Seems like this guy could, conceivably, have a perfect relationship. I mean, now when his lady friend calls, he can just say "Sorry, babe! I can't come over tonight. Those noise violations really add up," and head down to the pub for drinks and rowdiness with his mates.

On the other hand, these folks seem like total trash, so it's hard to pick a side. I mean, yeah, it's wrong for the city to dictate what you can and can't to such an extent as this, but then again... this isn't exactly what I'd call a healthy family environment in which to raise a six-year old.

What do you think?

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/15/2008 11:26:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] It's Friday.

2008-08-15T08:11:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday, everyone!

I wish I could hang around and talk and whatnots, but I've got a bit of a family emergency going on, so I'll be in and out all day.

Anyway, I wanted to post a picture and let you know that things are going to be a little flaky (or flakier) around here for a day or two. Of course, today's picture is pretty much how I look when I answer the door to the gentle rapping of the wild-eyed religious folks who drop in to discuss my so-called salvation (it still ticks me off that they won't show up in winter to use their Jesus Powerâ¢ to shovel two or three feet of snow off my walk. Noooo... They wait for the nice, pleasant, sunny days when I'm outside eating baby kittens and working on my tan on the front porch to harass me about my afterlife).

So, I find the lighting helps.

Unfortunately, lighting like this makes my ears look pointy. But, you know, the Mephistopheles goatee and the Dr. McGillicuddy's bar-rag/t-shirt really do work for me. It's just too bad you can't see my fuzzy bunny slippers.

Well, I've got to scoot. I hope you all have a wicked, wild Friday, and if I don't see you this weekend, have a good one of those as well.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/15/2008 09:55:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Off...

2008-08-13T08:31:00.000-07:00

Hi folks.

Busy, busy day here on this end on the intertubes.

But, you know, I didn't want to leave you hanging, so here. Enjoy a wonderful sunrise with a mob of seagulls.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/13/2008 10:27:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Are you ready?

2008-08-12T10:10:00.000-07:00

I don't know...

Not many people can handle it.

I mean, this picture rocks.

This picture rocks pretty hard.

What you're looking at here is probably more metal than a Scorpions concert. This is not only throwing up the horns in serious metal thunder madness, nope! This is pointy, make you bleed, drive you to the middle of nowhere and get your head-banging on near a small ditch beside the railroad tracks kind of rock.

In fact, kids today would call it RAWK!!!one!

However, kids today are idiots who dance in people's yards with their so-called music pumped into their confused, adolescent heads via tinny, rattling little ear-pieces that do little more than make incoherent pseudo-music than truly rock. They'd cringe if they knew what rock truly was.

Today's picture, dear reader, is rocking so hard, it's like Lemmy pointing a shotgun at your face as he grumbles like an asthmatic, old diesel bus to get off my lawn. And, if you can't rock, you'll be consigned to the hell where people are forced to groove to Winger until they claw their eyes out with the pointy shards of Rosie O'Donnel's latest shattered toilet seat.

So, dear reader, throw up the horns and rock on! Rock on and bang your head, today, tomorrow and the rest of your lives!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/12/2008 11:49:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Monday's Little Helper.

2008-08-10T23:27:00.000-07:00

Having a bad Monday?

Does this help?

I mean, I know as far as beers go, it's not the best, but, trust me, I've still got a couple of cans of Natty Ice in my fridge, and well... I know what bad beer is, and this doesn't quite qualify.

In fact, one of the things I like about Rolling Rock is that it's an ideal hangover beer. There were a few mornings in my shady, dark past where I'd crawled out of bed with a bloody, head-shredding hangover to have a healthy breakfast of bacon, coffee and cigarettes (and pancakes. I love the pancakes), and when all was somewhat settled inside, the remainder of my day was spent drinking Rolling Rock and playing Risk with friends (because, we all know, the best cure for a hangover is a drunken, world-conquering rampage).

Anyway, today's picture isn't really so much about the beer, but I just wanted to show off the kick-ass lighting I managed to eke out on this shot (in fact, this is the Clone's beer. I don't really drink all that often these days since I've usually got some sort of pain-killer plowing through my system). I was surprised it turned out so good. It's almost perfect, and if it wasn't for that blown-out bit on the lower, left-edge of the bottle, we'd be looking at a beer commercial. And, well... who doesn't like beer commercials?

The thing is, I'm trying to get more involved in lighting for my shots. I really want to start doing more portrait work, and lighting is a vital ingredient. In fact, great lighting can make a cheap, crappy lens look great, and bad lighting can make the best lens look lousy. So, I ordered a few, ultra-cheap things like light-stands, another flash, an umbrella, some colored plastic pieces to put over my light source (they call them "gels" for some reason), and a few other accouterments to hopefully help me become a more versatile photographer. I'm all wound up to start fiddling.

I even got the girlfriend-ex-girlfriend signed on to be a model for me to hone my skills on. I hope she's got the patience. I'm not a natural photographer, I don't think. I'm just trying to learn the rules and stuff.

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rules out there, and there's a brand, spankin' new photographer out there in Tennessee who I'll be writing about later this week. She does portraits with nothing more than natural lighting, and they are incredible. So, look for that coming down the tubes.

Anyway, I've decided to see if I can find some way of making a few pennies to rub together with this whole photography thing. I mean, if I can make some beer money out of this, I'll be happy. Of course, I really don't have a damn bit of business sense, so who knows?

Well, enjoy your Mondays.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/11/2008 12:22:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Hi There.

2008-08-10T09:39:00.000-07:00

Yeah...

I'm having a crisis.

This is the first picture I've seen of the top of my head in a while, and well... it's clear that things have simply stopped growing above the treeline.

Of course, in the grand scheme of things, I don't really mind losing my hair. In fact, truth be told, it's actually kind of nice. My head stays cool in summer, and in winter.... ummm.... I have yet to think of a benefit to baldness in winter, but I'm sure there's one somewhere.

Anyway, that's me, and that's what I usually look like after getting off the phone with the girlfriend-ex-girlfriend as my hands scrabble around my enormous melon looking to yank a few precious locks from their perch.

Going mad is fun!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/10/2008 11:24:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] A Little Better.

2008-08-09T08:26:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the feedback on the picture I posted yesterday. Some of you liked it, and some of you didn't (and Bill really didn't like it), and that's pretty much what I expected.

Anyway, today's picture is a little off, and not my favorite. I was actually going to post something a little prettier, but I didn't want to go digging through my photostream.

The thing is, I've not really been working on my photos all that much lately, so I don't have a whole heap of things new and nifty.

In other news, I was going to head out of town today, but I put those plans on hold seeing as how I was up until four this morning. Then, when I woke up, I turned on the TV to find Women's Olympic Beach Volleyball on TV, and there goes my whole freakin' day!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/09/2008 10:06:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Critique... Please? I'm begging ya.

2008-08-08T18:15:00.000-07:00

Hey!

So, I took this picture, and it was kind of a smidge goofed as a result of my incompetence, but I fiddled with it in Photoshop to add a whole different look to it.

Personally, I kind of like how it looks more like a painting than a photograph. Compositionally, it's kind of borked since the leg of that damned lawn chair stands out too much.

Anyway, leave a comment and tell me what you think. It's so freakin' quiet here, I'm climbing the walls.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/08/2008 08:06:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] I told you so!

2008-08-08T09:38:00.000-07:00

Look!

Don't say I didn't warn you.

This little dude has ambitions, and I think they involve commanding a crack team of pigeons to come down and eat our faces.

Needless to say, there's a certain inescapable terror whenever I step out into my yard these days. I mean, even the ants seem a little dodgy now and then. And, it's not that I'm paranoid or anything. Things are just... I don't know.

Strange?

Now, don't get me wrong, I like crazy as much as anyone. It's just that when you step outside and the birds and squirrels are looking at you as though they're sizing you up to roll you for your hard earned money, it's a smidge off-putting or unsettling.

I mean, look at the picture, people. When you see a squirrel looking at you like this, you know that sneaking up behind you is some other critter thumping a black-jack in his little critter paw. And, if you stand around a little too long, he'll thump you on the back of your head, and when you come to, don't be surprised if all your money and credit cards are missing.

Indeed... The world has become a very strange place.

Another case in point:

A while back, I bought some fabric softener and did my ~~monthly~~ weekly batch of laundry. I like fabric softener, and that probably goes a long way in explaining why I am single. After all, if a guy smells like fabric softener, he's either married or gay, and since I am neither, I seem to be some sort of April Fresh enigma in the world of single people.

Anyway, this fabric softener I picked up smells a little weird. At first it was a little hard to place the scent rolling off my pile of clothes, and I wandered around my day with this odd little whiff desperately trying to trigger some sort of memory hidden deep in my subconscious.

For what seemed like the longest time, it puzzled me. I just couldn't get a handle on it. It smelled like something familiar but rare. It was a scent I'd passed by as though walking through a crowd and catching a flicker of a wind of someone's perfume or cologne or shampoo or whatever.

And then it hit me.

It was June of 1993 that I was smelling. But, not just any day in June of '93. Nope. With this fabric softener, the memory it triggered was of my stepping off a plane in early June of 1993, in Brussels, Belgium at six in the freakin' morning.

For those of you who've been there, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's a strange mix of air freshener and carpet cleaner that fills the air. And, since the crowds are small at that unholy hour, the airport smell is not knocked into the background by the confused scent of equally confused men and women travelers on their way to and from one place to another.

So, that's what my clothes smell like now. I am walking around with the funk of an early morning Belgian airport on me.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/08/2008 11:02:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Friday! Fffffffriday!

2008-08-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

You totally spit reading the title of this post, didn't you?

Now you've got all sorts of pretty little rainbow stars all over your computer monitor, right?

It's okay.

You can just tell people you sneezed, and now you're mesmerized by the pretty, pretty colors and everything.

Really, sneezing on your monitors is one of the best bits about personal computing.

Anyway, you folks reading this at work?

Yeah. You there... I'm talking to you.

Go home. Tell your boss that you left the stove on or something. Whatever works.

You see, as nice as it is outside, it's the the birds... The birds, PEOPLE!!!

They've gone mad.

So, get home, maybe pick up a six pack on the way, and lock the doors before they peck your brains out.

And for you people already at home?

Cheese. You're going to need cheese. Birds can't manage cheese. Oh yeah... They can kick it around and peck at it a bit, but have you ever bashed your face repeatedly into a block of cheese?

It gets old pretty quick.

Birds get bored in much the same way. At least, that is, until they manage to work out a deal with the squirrels to satisfy their insatiable blood lust. When that day comes, well... I pity humanity.

We're doomed!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/08/2008 09:33:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Still Fiddling...

2008-08-07T12:04:00.000-07:00

Yeah...

I'm still screwing around with my image tags. It's a little dodgy and complicated since I'm posting this to not one, but two blogs, and though the html does carry over from one to the other, sometimes, some things get muddled. It's a bit annoying.

Other than that, I'm also stoned off my gourd at the moment. It's been a painful couple of days, and I'm hoping that tomorrow's shot of Humira will set things right. I don't want you to concern yourselves with my tedious gripes and whatnots, and though things are generally bad, they could be considerably worse. I know you, dear reader, wish nothing but the best for me, and I promise you, that means a lot, and I hope the day comes where I can return the favor and the kindness and the caring you've all shown me.

In other words, I'm rocked on opiates, and I love you man...

I suppose, in order to get to the heart of the matter, I should say that I do deal with a lot of depression throughout the course of a twenty-four hour day. I think it's inevitable for anyone living alone with a painful, incurable, chronic condition. There's a weight there, and it is cold and heavy. It hangs around my neck, and it is a burden to tote around. The people I meet tell me to cheer up or that I should be happy as though doing so is no more difficult than flicking a switch. And, though I know that their intentions are good and their words are spoken out of concern, it's infuriating.

Trust me. I am dealing with it, and hopefully I can once again find some thrill in something so simple as breathing. But, until then, I think things here will be mostly quiet and infrequent. After all, this funky gloom just sucks whatever ambition I may have straight out of me, and the incessant aches just pile upon my dark mood to become a tedious, needling distraction. And, most days, it's just too damn much.

On the other hand, I like this blogging thing. There's a certain cathartic quality to just prattling myself into a better day by unloading whatever morning troubles I may be trying to wrestle with. I've written millions of unposted words, after all. And, it's kind of nice throwing out that hill o' beans.

Anyway, there really is no reason for writing this other than to, yet again, upend another full bucket of bummer. Hopefully, after this, I'll be good for another couple of months.

For what it's worth, though, thanks for your jokes, your smiles and your laughter. But if things here are silent or seem half-hearted and uninspired, you should know that it's simply me and this mess that my life can sometimes be.

So, thank you for being you.

-Dan

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/07/2008 01:17:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Happy Thursday!

2008-08-07T08:10:00.000-07:00

Let's see... It's a somewhat difficult day on this end. I don't know why, but lately I've just been wrestling with a mountain of annoying and tedious aches and pains. I suppose Thursdays are always rough since whatever nonsense I inject into my system on Friday tends to be running a little thin toward the end of the week.

Ah well... No sense in dwelling.

Anyway, today's picture isn't really anything fancy. It's just a shot of a few birds that were buzzing around the yard the other day as I was testing out my new lens.

The neat thing is, since the Clone got the birdseed in the divorce, he's been hooking the little robins and others up with what seems to be some high-quality avian crack as opposed to the seven dollar bag of seeds I get at the local hardware store. In fact, this morning, the birds were stacked about three deep at the feeder, and some were even sliding around on the roof of the feeder waiting for a table to open.

It's madness...

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/07/2008 09:51:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Getting away with things...

2008-08-06T12:30:00.000-07:00

Hiya folks!

Don't pay too much attention to this entry. I'm just trying to see how much I can get away with in terms of layout and alignment. I'd like to be able to post images and text in a much more aesthetically pleasing style.

I'm tired of centering things. It's always just so, umm... boring and it breaks up the pleasant flow of my screeching, marginally coherent scribblings.

The problem is that the way things are set up here on this blog, I don't have anywhere near the big, friendly space that AOL Journals offers. I mean, you guys don't know how lucky you are. You could park a bus in that text field. *sigh*

Anyway, for those of you who are curious, I'm using the span technique for aligning the photos. I nicked it from this blog on AOL. Hopefully it works here on Blogger, but, if not, I may just have to fall back to using the old standard of align=left or right.

Other than that, well... I need lunch. Does anyone have any suggestions?

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/06/2008 02:14:00 PM

Well now... It appears that the span settings don't transfer from Blogger to here, but if I go back in and jiggle the wires a bit, it works. I'll have to see if I can suss that out.

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] A little color...

2008-08-06T08:08:00.000-07:00

Here's my nephew, a paddle, and an orange ball that's getting smacked around the yard.

Now, I'm not a parent by any stretch, but there has got to be something really damn cool about being able to give a kid a ball and a paddle and watch it occupy his entire afternoon.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/06/2008 09:58:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Zooooom...

2008-08-05T20:05:00.000-07:00

So, I posted a link to this video in the comments section of Barry's Waffling and Whinging blog, and I figure I may as well share it with you all here (for those of you on AOL, you can catch it here).

Bugatti Veyron On Top Gear - These bloopers are hilarious

Yeah. That's a little piece of metal moving so fast that I just can't wrap my mind around it. I've driven on the famous Autobahn back and forth across Germany years ago in an Audi A6 turbo-diesel monster, and though I did get it up to some pretty impressive speeds, what this guy's doing in his Bugatti Veyron is absolutely obscene. I mean, I was moving pretty speedily at about 210-220kph, but this lunatic is skating along about twice as fast as I've ever driven.

Yeeesh! Scary!

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/05/2008 09:45:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Spooky neat?

2008-08-05T08:01:00.000-07:00

I'm having an interesting day today. So far, since I've been awake, I've stubbed the big toe on my right foot. I also dropped a can of Coke on it. And then, to top it all off, I spilled coffee --very hot coffee-- on the same damn toe.

It's enough for me to get an axe and cut this thing off. I mean, it's clearly just getting in the way at this point.

Anyway, here's today's picture for you all to wrap your minds around:

I like it. A guy can have a lot of fun with a laser and a camera in the dark.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/05/2008 09:42:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Oh, This is Just Freakin' Great.

2008-08-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

Have you heard the news?

Phil Plait has been named the President of the James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF for you acronymically-inclined).

Now, though this is probably wonderful news for Phil and the skeptic community, he's going to be Philling some great, big shoes, and I can only assume that this spells disaster to my personal movement of shedding light on the Voyager Satellite hoax. Oh yeah... this is bad. This is very, very bad.

I would like to congratulate Phil, but I am concerned for the future of human gullibility. I mean, people need to believe in crazy shit so people like me can snicker and chortle.

I need to chortle.

Anyway, since I can't congratulate him, I suggest you all head over to Phil's place to send him your warmest regards (or icy cold acrimony).

For what it's worth, I like Phil. He's a good egghead, and he easily tops the list of people I'd most love to see absolutely hammered (Nathan Fillion, John Scalzi and This Chick are also on that very long list). But, those are just my daydreams, and I clutch them close to my chest until the revolution comes and I am in a position to force them to do my meager bidding.

Carry on citizens!
-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/04/2008 02:11:00 PM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Wildlife abounds...

2008-08-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't know exactly how "wild" a squirrel really is. But, I liked this little dude.

Other than that, I am suffering some hard-core keyboard dyslexia today, and I might as well just be typing with olives on my fingers and my eyes closed.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/04/2008 10:09:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] No Food, No Wakey!

2008-08-03T09:32:00.000-07:00

DogCat is not afraid to get comfortable...

Unfortunately, if you wake him, he expects to be fed.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/03/2008 11:26:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Good Morning.

2008-08-02T07:25:00.000-07:00

Here ya go. Have a sunrise:

Not bad, huh?

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/02/2008 09:22:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Weird....

2008-08-01T09:20:00.000-07:00

Not to sound like an old person or anything, but sumthin's comin'. My arthritis 's actin' up. Think I may as well just mosey on down to th' Winn-Dixie to enjoy some of that conditioned air and have myself a ice cold Dr. Pepper. Ay-Yup.

Sorry. I'm just being silly. It's been one of those weeks, and I think silly is probably the best way to roll today...

However, since I'm here, I might as well turn your attention to this dandy little video:

It's actually a proof of concept video from Joel Hodgson (he of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame) and Jim Hodgson (brother of he of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame).

Anyway, it's called the "Jolly Filter Test Video," and it was part of a development deal that the Brothers Hodgson had with USA Networks, and essentially what it does is take a mind-numbingly boring movie (In this case, the first two minutes of the 1977 film Rollercoaster), and it puts a creative, and much more entertaining spin on the film with the aid of some remarkably talented annimation work.

Personally, I actually kind of like this, and I wonder how it would hold up for say an hour's length episode. But, I think like MST3000 it might be a little hit or miss from episode to episode, but that shouldn't mean much since, overall, MST3000 was always entertaining to some degree and easily one of the best ways to spend a hungover Saturday and/or Sunday morning while I was in college. And, to me, the Jolly Filter looks like it could just be a whole hell of a lot of fun in much the same way.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/01/2008 10:54:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] The Individually Wrapped Slice of Processed...

2008-08-01T05:20:00.000-07:00

Now, Rupert Murdoch has gotten to be ridiculously pathetic in his attack on Barack Obama. I mean, first, there's the incessant stupidity of the witless dolts at Fox "News" who damn near trip over themselves in an attempt to see who can make a bigger imbecile out of themselves, and now, The Wall Street Journal has entered the forray of feebleness with this latest yawning mass of burning stupid:

Too Fit to Be President?
Facing an Overweight Electorate,
Barack Obama Might Find
Low Body Fat a Drawback By AMY CHOZICK
August 1, 2008; Page W1

Speaking to donors at a San Diego fund-raiser last month, Barack Obama reassured the crowd that he wouldn't give in to Republican tactics to throw his candidacy off track.

"Listen, I'm skinny but I'm tough," Sen. Obama said.

But in a nation in which 66% of the voting-age population is overweight and 32% is obese, could Sen. Obama's skinniness be a liability?
(The Full Stoopid)

Seriously.

Amy Choznick belched it out, and The Wall Street Urinal actually printed this little tidbit of gleaming stupidity. And hey, look! It's got the typical Fox tactic of just slapping a question mark on the end of their vapid outburst, and voila! It's now a "real" concern.

Even though it goddamned well isn't a concern to anyone other than the tiny squeakings inside the mind of the article's writer and editor.

For example, I could write: Amy Choznick, a gutter-crawling, urine-soaked crack-whore? Or, Rupert Murdoch, a drug-fueled, brain-damaged, diaper-muncher?

I like it. I could get a job at Fox "Newz" or the WSJ. The thing is, I'd slit my freakin' wrists if I had to scribble out such journalistic, partisan pablum for that collection of tabloid nits. Seriously, man. I'd rather live in a refrigerator crate beneath a bridge and write cereal box copy than sell-out and work for those goobers.

The sad thing is, there are people out there who actually take the state-issued ~~propaganda packages~~ "talking points" broadcast on Fox and printed in the WSJ (the ones illegally issued by the Bush White House) and they believe them. Someone will actually believe that there are people out there thinking, "Well, I'm kind of fat, so it's probably best I vote for McCain. That must make sense somehow."

Gyaagh! It's mind-boggling how freakin' dumb this country is.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/01/2008 06:32:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] It seems to be puzzled...

2008-08-01T03:32:00.000-07:00

In fact, you could say it's scratching its head (thank you, Devi):

Let's see... Lot's o' stuff on my mind at the moment.

First, it's four in the morning, and I haven't slept a wink since sometime Wednesday night. It's a combination of aches, pains, and the raging angst of dealing with the ex-girlfriend who seems to be going through some sort of odd phase where she suggests spending more time together before disappearing for two weeks without a peep.

So, there's that... It's a whole bundle of crazy wrapped up in madness and set ablaze into a raging inferno of bat-shit, screeching insanity.

My guess is that she converted to Scientology.

Of course, the only proof I have of that is that sort of crazy is only attainable in Scientology, and it's probably easier for me to imagine she joined a cult as opposed to becoming so wildly unhinged. People don't usually act this way. I know this. I've seen how people act because, well... I am a people, and as a people who hasn't been shot, stabbed or excommunicated (I know. Go figure, huh?) I know how to act around others of my kind.

Next up, BUGS!

I like bugs. They're fun to shoot pictures of, and if you get close enough, they actually look kind of cool. In fact, when I'm looking through my lens while shooting bug macros, the thought that usually leaps into my mind is, "man! I am sooo glad you're not fifty feet tall."

The thing is, in their element, bugs are neat. Unfortunately, a lot of that neatness goes flying right out the window when a ridiculously tiny bug leaps from the branches and limbs above to land on me and start burrowing into the back of my neck.

Seriously, people! When would something like that not be considered a rude thing for nature to do? It's rude enough to make me want to donate to the local strip mine... If we had one. Then again, without the land raping strip mine, maybe I'll just go toss a car battery into the lake to get even with Nature for her tickish, Lyme-disease-laden ways.

Anyway, I had to carve that bastard out by myself all manly-manlike, and it went something like this:
Step one: Grab tweezers.
Step two: feel around for tick.
Step Three: squeeze tweezers to pull tick out.
Step four: Scream like a Girl Scout with skinned knees when you pull out a peach-fuzz length of hair that's so painful your cervical vertebrae get all twichy and wiggly.
Repeat Step Three.
Repeat Step Four.
Repeat Step Three....

Step Twenty Seven: admire the freshly excised tick and the amazingly smooth, fresh-plucked skin on the back of the neck.
Step Twenty Eight: Women do this to their freakin' eyebrows?!? No wonder why women are so crazy!
Step Twenty Nine: Bleed.
Step Thirty: Bleed some more.
Step Thirty-one: Find Band Aids.

Really... It's tedious. And, painful. I mean, I've taken ticks off other body parts (i.e. legs, arms, etc), but the back of the neck is just not any freakin' fun. So, Nature? I hope you choke!

Other than that, it's now five in the morning (I know... it took me a whole hour to write that little bit. But, in my defense, I did make coffee, feed the cats, and scanned the headlines of the morning newspaper).

There was a bunch of other things, but now that I think about it, I think those things are in the past, and no point in dwelling.

Still... Ticks on the back of the neck? Especially those big, drunk Wisconsin ticks?

Nasty bastards. Avoid them.

Now, it's time for The State of the Blog:

Neat how that blinks like that, don't you think?

Anyway, I've kind of been on a Lazy Summer Posting Schedule, and I've been phoning it in for the most part. And, before too long, perhaps a week or two depending on things (don't ask what things. Some things, you're just not meant to understand), I'll get back to my usual silly babble with DogCat posts, random gripes and bellowing, funny things here, serious things there, Amish porn, and, quite possibly, a retrospective on the work of Efrem Zimbalist Junior (who knows?).

Man... That blinking is getting annoying.

Nonetheless, the point is, I won't be phoning it in for much longer (unlike Prezdint G-Dub!). And, I can't tell you enough how great it was just to post pictures with tiny explanations and little thought. Really. It was nice to just spend a few seconds on posting a picture, then I could go and put my feet up or get out and snap some pictures, or walk down to the corner and throw hunks of rotten meat at the noisy, clanging bells of the Catholic Church down the street (I'm kidding! Don't send me any death threats).

Anyway, the thing is, I don't really seem to have a whole heck of a lot of ideas for things to do on this blog to keep you crazy, demanding people entertained. I mean, you're not like me. All you have to do to get me to hang out on your blogs or websites is to just post a picture of some jingling car keys or some other small, shiny objects. So, if you've got any suggestions, I'm all ears (or eyes and fingers or whatever). Send them on to me, and I'll see what I can make of it.

So, that's about it for this Friday morning. I'm going to go ~~wake up~~ ~~go to bed~~ start my day...

-DP

P.S. Unfortunately, I don't think the blinking text HTML works on the AOL Journal. So, for those of you reading this on AOL, well... if you want to see blinking text... I mean, if that sort of thing turns you on, then hop on over to my Blogger blog, and be hypnotized by the mystical blinking words... It will make you sleeeepy... sleeepy... Any when you awake, you will think you're a CHICKEN!

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 8/01/2008 05:30:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] How You Like Them?

2008-07-31T08:34:00.000-07:00

First, the photo:

Now, this apple tree actually does crank out some pretty tasty apples. Unfortunately, I don't spray the tree to keep the worms and other bugs out. The tree is just too close to the house, and it's kind of right above the neighbor's screen porch. I suppose, if I wanted to spray, I could just reach out the bedroom window and give it a nice spritzing; however, the thing is, if I sprayed, I'd have a whole hell of a lot of apples, and though these things make ridiculously tasty pies, I don't want to make two hundred ridiculously tasty pies.

I really don't need that many apples.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 7/31/2008 10:14:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] Wednesday...

2008-07-30T07:12:00.000-07:00

Today kind of sucks, and I'm sitting here hoping that my good mood is hiding at the bottom of my coffee mug. I'm working my way there, I guess, but the thing is, the Clone made the coffee, and well... I question his skills.

Anyway, here's a picture for today:

I kind of like how the light and the lines work in this shot. It's kind of trippy when you start looking at the angles and whatnots.

Anyway, I've got to get myself jacked on my mug o' madness. Then, I've got to climb into my buggy and lumber my aching carcass across town to the doc's office for one of those pointless appointments where I pretty much sit around explaining that things could be better, but they could also be a whole hell of a lot worse.

Meh...

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 7/30/2008 08:50:00 AM

[The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind] We Aim to Answer...

2008-07-29T10:02:00.000-07:00

Dawn asks:

What is the story with the fierce looking DeafCat pic on your sidebar?

You must be talking about this picture:

Yesterday, I was puttering around outside, and DeafCat was just sort of tagging along and doing her usual thing of patrolling the yard with her nose. And, as I was contemplating mowing the lawn, I heard this funny hissing sound from behind me.

When I turned to look at the source, I found DeafCat somewhat upset by something.

So, I looked around for another cat, possibly a dog, or even a misplaced stick that might have set her off and started this whole raging little outburst. What I found is that this hunk of shrubbery you see pictured on the right was tremendously offensive to my poor, confused cat.

As you can see, it does need a trim. I've sort of let it go, and perhaps DeafCat was simply voicing her displeasure at my apathetic style of landscaping. The shrub has become an insult to her and her discerning tastes.

Fortunately, after a minute or two of her telling the bush to fuck off in no uncertain terms, she turned and ran to the front door to find safety inside the house. Obviously, she just wanted to make sure that this bush was put in its place, and it's going to think twice now before getting out of line.

-DP

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Posted By Dan to The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind at 7/29/2008 11:38:00 AM